Reality Check on Aisle 5

Bio-Dad and I spoke the other day about Radish and how he complains about being bored more frequently during visits. On his most recent weekend visit to QUEST, Radish was "bored" and said "I should have stayed at QUEST" - all because the batting cages were closed and mini-golf was too expensive for the whole family to play for the half hour they had left on their off grounds visit. Bio-Dad, step mom-bio brother, bio sister, grandma,....we are talking some serious $$$$$$ cha-ching! "change" to play mini-golf.

I'm not sure where Radish got the expectation that family visits were about money and things...but he has. Bio-Dad knows we are all about LOW COST - NO COST forms of family fun. Hiking, biking, board games, swimming, sledding, card games, crafts, car rides, rent a movie, etc. Heck - we've even made our own mini golf course in the back and side yards because we also think it is too expensive to take our whole crew mini-golfing!!!!!!!!!

Apparently, on recent visits with Bio-Dad, if it isn't like D*sney (with bells, whistles, fireworks and a marching band)...if it isn't non-stop fun, Radish is BORED. Hmmmm. I wonder if the CASA Mentor's buying him a $250 mountain bike several weekends ago has anything to do with Radish's expectation that BIG Money shall be dropped during ALL visits.....Nooooo. That would be cynical of me to think like that!

We have always had the BORED issue with Radish. He has difficulty managing ANY down time and will sabotage other's activities for is own general amusement. His free time has to be structured and the day must be planned out. Radish would often lay on the couch and rock or sit in a chair in a strange posture unless he was told what to do next or given a choice of what he could do next. Initiating activities remains VERY, VERY hard for him.

Oftentimes he'd rather argue about why he couldn't do an activity - rather than do any activity.

Radish: I am bored.
Parent: You could join the boys playing basketball?? Dinner will be soon.
Radish: No. It's too cold, too dark, too hot, too windy, they aren't as good players as me...etc.etc.)
Parent: OK. I'm going to finish cooking dinner if you'd like to help.
Radish: Nope. I'm bored.

What a bizzare cycle of attention and inactivity.

I feel bad for Bio-Dad and the family - Radish has an unrealistic expectation of what it will look like when he lives with them. Moving closer will involve him in the day-today routines of the REHAB program; that will surely help.

Anyhow, it is my beleif that this boy is in some serious need of a big old FAMILY LIFE REALITY CHECK. Hmmmm.....what would a FAMILY LIFE REALITY CHECK look like if he were still living in my house????????

Put the dogs out
Bring the dogs in
Feed the dogs
Put the dogs out
Bring the dogs in
Bring kids to summer camp
Come home
Put the dogs out
Bring the dogs in
Answer phone
Talk to Social Worker
Check the laundry
Defrost dinner
Clean up remains of defrosted dinner that dogs just knocked off counter
Put dogs out
Defrost another dinner out of dog's reach
Bring dogs in
Answer phone
Talk to Social Worker
Check laundry
Fold clothes
Put away clean clothes
Make the bed
unload the dishwasher
load the dishwasher
Find cat barf in hall
Clean up cat barf,
Put the cat out
Bring the cat in
Clean up more cat barf in hall
Realize you put the wrong cat out
Put the right cat out
Mop the floor
Answer phone
Talk to Social Worker
Answer phone
Talk to Therapist
Answer phone
Talk to another Social Worker looking to place a sibling group of 4
Hang up
Laugh
Turn on TV to J*rry Spr*nger
Realize your life is waaayyyy more interesting than a reality show
Turn TV off
Turn vaccuum on
call insurance adjuster about last month's flooded basement damage
Cry
Go down to musty basement and go throug a few more boxes of stuff
Go outside for fresh air
Check mail
Read mail
Go through bills
Pick up kids at summer camp
Stop at grocery store
Unload groceries
Send kids out to play
Feed the dogs
Put dogs out
Bring dogs in
Unload dishwasher
Cook dinner
Clear dinner
Load dishwasher
Hang out with family
Put dogs out
Bring dogs in
Tuck kids in
Blog
Sleep
Wake up at 3 am to cat crying outside of window
Bring the cat in
Sleep

REPEAT