Solitaire - For Two

When I drove RADISH to QUEST last week, I asked him if he would like us to visit and he said yes. We made a plan for Tuesday. When I called Monday and found out I wasn't on the visit list or call list I was sad and worried he'd see this as broken promise rather than as a policy/rule issue. I explained to staff that I understood - but could I still drop off the last of his belongings as promised to him at Admission. I arrived fully expecting just to meet with the Director and the Case Manager. During the time from our phone conversation to my arrival, QUEST made a call and The Division Family Services Supervisor gave us off grounds and unsupervised visits. PHEW.

So, I was able to (unexpectedly!!!) visit RADISH on Tuesday at QUEST. YEAH!!!! He had a shy smile and a quick hug for me. Wow. It was nice to hang out and talk about his week at QUEST: what he's been doing, what cool field trips they have been on, how's the food, who's on his visit list, call list, etc. We hung out for about an hour. I had already visited with his BIO-Grandma earlier that day. I had brought his second bicycle from Vermont and some larger items there for storage until he moves in with BIO-Dad in September. I brought him an inventory list and notes on where specific items are stored (old baseball uniforms in the tub at Grandma's, etc.) I brought his just finished scrapbook. We went through it and talked about the pictures.

Eye contact and proximity are hard for RADISH - so I was nervous when staff directed us to the only two chairs in the room on opposite sides of a kitchen table. I suggested we sit on the couch so it would be easier to look at the photo scrapbook together. It was much more relaxed. Sitting side by side we could both look out the window and avoid the whole eye contact thing in a more natural way. He leaned into me and was pretty relaxed. PHEW again.

After the scrapbook he brought out playing cards and asked me if I could bridge shuffle (NO -not unless you want to play 52 card pick up!!!!) and showed off his impressive shuffling talents. I think the most surprising part of our visit was when I offered to teach him a new type of solitaire game and he not only agreed, but was very present and connected while we played and learned the rules. Besides RAD, his TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) effects his auditory processing and makes instruction of any kind difficult. RAD and TBI together.... Normally he would resist any instructions, any direction, any structured give and take, and any loss of control. But this time it was just FUN. We had fun. F-U-N. Fun. AMAZING!!!!!

As I was leaving staff asked me to fill out a visit form - where I write about our visit and interactions during the visit and staff completes a section on behavior and demeanor before and after the visit. QUEST then reports the information to the Division of Family Services. Pretty Thorough. I am glad there is oversight and extra sets of eyes and ears monitoring.

His CASA MENTOR had already been to visit on Saturday. They went shopping to several sporting goods stores and the Mentor bought him a $250 mountain bike. Nice. Because every kid should have 3 bikes...Radish already has a bike at BIO-Dad's and one at Grandma’s. BIO-Dad is unemployed and living in one room at a Drug Rehab program so you can imagine that money is TIGHT.....Not to worry! The Mentor can drop $250 on a mountain bike...Nice ....How can BIO-Dad compete with that????? I am sure it is not the Mentor's money - but is Mentor Agency money - but do you think RADISH gets the subtlety of that???? ARRGGHHHH. But I digress!!!! BIO Dad has court on Friday in this part of the state and will try to come see him this weekend and RADISH's lawyer had already come to visit. His former adoption social worker (THE STORK) had come to see him on Monday - since his regular social worker is on vacation for a month. So I feel like RADISH is very well connected with extra hearts, eyes and ears. It truly takes a Village....

So we made a plan with QUEST staff for once a week visits - and last night the Other Mother and I took RADISH out to dinner at a local family style chain eatery. Another nice visit. We presented him with his own little study packet of VOCABULARY WORDS (see previous post) and his MOVIE. It was a really nice visit. We made plans for another one next week. I am looking forward to it.

I'm bringing the cards.