Where to begin? The police in my kitchen? The tearful babysitter? The Adoption Event? Our epic fail of a night out?
We are smiling and relaxed in this photo only because we don't know how our evening out will soon implode.
ADOPTION EVENT
Yesterday we were panel speakers at a state sponsored Adoption Event held at a college - It was a fun day - the weather was perfect for the many outdoor activities that were planned. They had seperate areas for older teens and a variety of fun things for the little ones: balloon sculpture, face painting, indoor crafts... something for everyone. Oddly, we did not gravitate toward the teen ropes course/outdoor adventure area. We usually find ourselves drawn to adopting/fostering/parenting pre-teen boys and teen boys...but this time, not so much. I inquired about a quiet young boy of 8 or 9 sitting alone at a picnic table. No wonder he was sitting alone. Turns out he's part of a sibling group of eight....Ummmm. No Thanks.
JARED
Tomorrow morning "Jared" moves on to the foster home that the Division of Family Services originally recruited for him. The Mom/Dad African American Family that are back from their pre-planned school vacation....I am relieved more than I can say. Since my post asking for your advice, we have learned just how Oppositional and RAD Jared is. Holy Crap. Never mind me worryin if we were the optimal family for him....Race will not be the issue for this young man - RAD is the issue.
We talk to him. He pretends he doesn't hear us. You ask him to do any task and he can only complete half, or does it semi-wrong. Will wash only one pillowcase. Won't put his bedspread on the bed when asked because it looked like a blanket.
We can't figure out if it is because we are women or if he'll be this way with a Dad also. In any case, I am a little embarassed to admit that I am grateful not to have to parent RAD right now. I just don't have it in me.
THE BABY:
The baby sleeps or just SCREAMS and SCREAMS. and SCREAMS. Really. We are experienced parents, but he is just freaking exhausting. COLIC! Argh. We don't know how to fully console his rages. He is just a month old. How can he be to FURIOUS with the world??? He won't hold eye contact for more than two seconds. If he is awake, he is rigid, arching, twisting, fisted, and purple faced screaming. How on earth is his teen Bio-Mom going to do this????????????? I am truly trying to find joy in his little blond head and blue-grey eyes...but he makes it very, very hard.
OUR FAILED SOCIAL LIFE
We went to a wedding last night. The Other Mother's Program Director was marrying a local police officer. It was a lovely ceremony with passages read in Polish to reflect the heritage of the groom's family. The reception was at an estate located in a famous regional park. Gorgeous setting. Everything was in bloom.
It was so nice to be out with the Other Mother at a non-foster/adoption event. I can't remember the last time we dressed up and stepped out. This picture was taken an hour before the evening went sour.
Just as the bride and groom were dancing the first dance, the babysitter calls. Bobby is fine. He helped cook and clean up. Jared and James had been awful. They were out of control, wouldn't help with dinner clean up, and we sent to their rooms. Then they disppeared. Went missing. She couldn't find them anywhere. She had searched the whole house. They are gone. GREAT.
We make our apologies and high-tail it home. En route, calling the police to do a neighborhood drive-by and to report them as runaways. Calling the tearful sitter again to reassure her. Calling the 24/7 Hotline for the Division of Family Services to report them missing. Stopping to pick up BB (Baby Boy - BB...) who was at a visit with teen Bio-Mom at her Parenting Teen Program. Taking Tylenol for the massive headache I am getting.
Minutes from home the police call us on the cell. They are at the house and they have the boys - they had hidden inside the house and had never left - which is a double blessing since the paperwork involved in a Missing Persons is a total pain in the neck.
Arriving home - we did our best to remain calm and therapeutic, read the boys the riot act, console the baby sitter, pay attention to Bobby who was feeling neglected for being good, assure the police we have our family under control, muzzle the screaming baby and remain sane.
THE GOOD NEWS
(You know - there is always Good News in our house) The police Officer who waited in our kitchen was totally young, tall, blue eyed and handsome...and clearly SMITTEN with our college aged sitter!!!!! He knew we were at his fellow officer's wedding...so as soon as the bride and groom are back from their honeymoon, we'll enlist their help and be doing some serious MATCH-MAKING!!!!!
THE SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW
In the meantime - I am counting the twelve hours till 7 am when the Social Worker comes to get Jared and the other two Yahoos get on the big yellow bus and go back to school and I have the relative peace and quiet of a screaming, colicy baby to keep me company. All. Day. Long.
OY is right.
ReplyDeleteYou both look totally beautiful, for what that's worth.
Goodbye, Jared. Don't let the door hit ya..
Is it possible the baby is allergic to whatever he's drinking? The last time I heard of a baby being that inconsolable, he had huge food allergies.. might be worth investigating.
Do you have Mylocon drops for colic? If not, move away from the computer and run, don't walk to get some (grocery store,Target, Walgreens,etc) oh my how that saved our soul with Hannah! It's basically gas drops. BB may need a different formula....Hannah (she's fourteen now, she'd HATE to know I was posting about her bowel issues)but, when she was about a month old, she got so colicky and constipated to the point that my mom, a nurse, had to use a bulb syringe as an enema...that was one relieved baby.
ReplyDeleteForgot to say you two are beautiful!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou two look lovely! What a night! I hope Jared does well in his new home. As for the baby, have you considered silent reflux, food allergies, drug exposure? I swear by gripe water, for colic babies.
ReplyDeleteoy-yoy-yoy!!! Glad things are going to be back to normal-ish for you soon. Glad to hear you have peace about Jared. Praying for BB and rest for you!
ReplyDeleteI second that Oy, glad the bus is coming tomorrow, I like yellow busses too.
ReplyDeleteGripe water is natural herbs that aid in digenstion. You can get it at a health food store or online. You can even make your own!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.babyslumber.com/articles/baby/what-is-gripe-water-and-how-does-it-help-infant-colic/
My nephew had horrible colic, and they used a product called Colic Calm that they ordered online somewhere. It was miraculous for them. I'm typing one-handed as I am burping my own foster baby; and I have to second the comment about Mylicon. Amazing stuff!! We put it in every bottle we feed NaNa, and while she is still very gassy, she isn't nearly as fussy as she was.
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
Well, you looked lovely anyway!
ReplyDeleteOy indeed! You totally topped the time that we got a sitter for Chet and he managed to get bitten by a dog. Since we didn't find out for 2 days (somehow he managed to hide this from the sitter) and didn't know the dog or its owner, he had to have rabies treatments!
ReplyDeleteColic calm is a brand of gripe water!! Here is a link http://www.coliccalm.com/
ReplyDeleteYou both looked wonderful...sorry to hear your evening was less than wonderful! It sounds like it's for the best that Jared is on his way out this lovely Monday morning. I hope you are able to find some relief for BB, it sounds like some of your other posters have some good suggestions.
ReplyDeleteYou ladies are stunning! Colic sucks! With our son who was super colicy- the only way we could console him was to wrap him up in a blanket so tightly I though his head pop off. Then instead of holding him like a "normal" baby, we used a lot of deep pressure *read hold him so tight I thought we'd squeeze him to death* We'd do this wrapping and holding (his stomach to my stomach) while we paced holes through the floor. That is what our occupational therapist suggested and it was the only thing that soothed him at all! Best of luck!
ReplyDelete