Friday Fragments

Went to The Ocean over Memorial Day weekend and were able to squeeze in a visit with baby Dee and her Mom and Brother and cousin. She has grown so much: holding her bottle, a well defined pincer grasp to pick sea shells from the sand, alert, focused- but still still teeny-tiny at just 12 pounds at 10 1/2 months old. The 11 week old baby boy we have weighs 13 pounds and is so much larger.

Speaking of which: Looks like BB (Baby Boy) will have two overnights next week and reunify next Friday with Teen Bio-Mom! Yeah!!!! He is alert, tolerant of touch and eye contact and is sooo much calmer. He has come a long way! Social Worker asked us if we'd take him back as an adoptive placement if Mom couldn't handle it. We said "Yes. He's pretty stinkin' cute - Just give us a call...". What am I thinking???

Bobby continues to be emotionally disregulated/fragile/falling apart/a "hot mess" as they say. Every day: tears, confusion, rages...Stressful, sad and exhausting for us all. His medication increase has helped dull the rage and slow his roll, but I still feel he is completely overwhelmed by his PTSD. Of concern lately is his genetic/familial predispositon to mental health issues and that we cannot "un-do" his first five years of life - his learned coping patterns are pretty consistent and NOT always effective or socially acceptable. ARGH. His therapist was sick this week so The Other Mother and I didn't have our biweekly pep session and Bobby missed his regular weekly "Avoid, Deflect and Dodge" session. Do I think that missing therapy contributed to his weeklong spiral? Nope. Not even a little. In fact, it probably took one more thing off his plate that he needed to worry about managing.

I'm feeling like I need an extra set of eyes/ears  and I know some families use monitors (like baby monitors to hear the kids squabbling in the other room - or video to make sure the baby is still in the crib, etc) but don't know the legal implications and rules for Privacy, age, etc, etc. so I haven't done anything yet. Are the rules different for adopted/foster kids? Does it matter what state you live in??? Anyone have info on this?

James has been great - doing well at school, taking pride in his assignments, settling in to our family routines, talking about conflicts, seeking out our company and approval. Asking when The Other Mother will be home from work. Over and over...
Took him to visit his Grandma in a local Nursing Home. Great visit. We need to make this part of our routine. His therapist made a home visit on Tuesday and we have an appointment with a psychiatrist at the end of the month where we will advocate that he have a med holiday (go off his C*ncerta for school ADD and Cl*onidine for sleep for the summer and hopefully, the psychiatrist will consider medication for his depression. He is a lovely young man that I hope will continue to make good choices and blossom.

Speaking of lovely young man. Our oldest, Alex, 20, is doing well at work and making a fine life for himself and we are happy he is fitting into his own skin. We are thinking of helping him with a down-payment and co-signing to buy a house in Northern Vermont - where a decent 3 bedroom 2 bath can be had for about 80,000. The Other Mother and I strongly feel that the little money we had set aside for college is better spent on helping him start his adult life. School is not for him right now..and paying a mortgage would be cheaper than renting in Northern Vermont. It would also keep him focused on making good choices and taking personal responsibility for his finances and future. If he were to change his mind in a few years, we'd sell and take our original investment/legal expenses back and he could have the profits to buy his next home (or go to school or move to Alaska or whatever.)

My kitchen/entry way is in need of a major cleaning and over-haul. It is the repository for all sorts of crap and piles of unfiled bills and papers. It really needs a functional makeover. I see some more trips to Salvation Army in my future getting rid of stuff. This will be my project/task when the baby goes home next week. I need something to keep me busy and focused (and not mopey, sad and grieving).

I better work quick - because I am sure we'll get another call within a week...