You see, I discovered the other day that my driver's license expired two weeks ago on my birthday. I went to get it renewed and the line was too long. Which was a good thing, because I wasn't having a good hair day. My bangs were looking all scraggly. The next day I had intentions of renewing my license, but my hair was too...I dunno...tooo thin.
I'm not sure ths will be a valid excuse if I get pulled over by the cops - but it is true. Officer, I couldn't get my license renewed because there is no way in H*ll I am having a photo taken this week that I am comfortable living with for the next five years because...because I my bald spot is showing. Really. Look. See???? Bald spot. Not cool.
Girls aren't supposed to have bald spots. They are supposed to have miles and miles of thick luxurious hair. Please understand, I am near 50. I am a product of the Breck Girl generation.
I even product tested Pantene hair care products as a teen when I lived in New Jersey and my mother worked for Hoffman LaRoche.
I am from New Jersey for goodness sake. New Jersey practically INVENTED Big Hair.
So maybe that's why I am a little sensitive and aware of my fine thinning hair showing a little too much shiny scalp and I can't get my license renewed.
Guys go bald and sometimes bald is even sexy. Remember Kojak?
Bald? On women? Not so much. Even Sinead O'Connor, bald just managed to look crazed. I'm a foster parent. I can't walk around looking crazed. Well I do walk around looking crazed, but why add to it? Ya know?
My bald spot is not in the best spot. Like IS anywhere a good spot??? Anyhow, it's awfully sparse where my bangs meet my scalp. Not this bad, but noticeable enough.
Demi Moore, on the other hand, when she shaved her head in GI JANE just managed to look HOT. Yeah. Totally hot.
I'm pretty sure I can't do a chin up or one handed push up,and camo makes me look pale, so the GI JANE military shaved thing just won't work on me....
But, did I mention she looked hot?
Britney? NOT hot.
Sigourney could do bald with confidence only because she already could handle a flame thrower and fly a space ship. Me, I'm lucky I go to the grocery and get dinner on the table. Without my license, I can't even do that. Geesh.
So my current hair dilema is bad enough that I actually got out all the silly colorful plastic hair acoutrements we have for when we foster little girls...Yes, I am embarassed to admit it, but I am wearing neon orange flower hair clips to hold my drooping stringy bangs in out of my eyes.....
Anyhow -I am stalled. I know I need to renew my license, because, Mama LOVES to drive...and I know I need a haircut, but I can't make a decision - short or long???
ARGH.
I think I'll just sit home today and blog.
Oooh oh oh, I know this one! Joan Rivers has a product out that fills in the spot to make the thinning less noticeable. And since Joan has paid to have an entire new body assembled I have to assume this is a good product or she would invent something else.
ReplyDeletebtw, I totally rocked the big hair days. Sigh. The thinning is so my future if genetics dictates such.
Anyway, if you have some matte brown or black powder eye shadow or brow liner or whatever, get a big make up brush and stiple it in there. Shazam! Full hair!
Or, you could get some good gel and stick it all straight up in the air and call it a day.
I'm with Essie....good suggestions. Me, I have thick and now pubic-looking curly things that sproing up and demand to be noticed. My hair feels like an electric blanket on my neck. Oh wait, this post was about YOUR hair...like I said, Essie has good suggestions. There also is Rogaine for women. Aww heck, how about googling it and until that happens, it's summer, wear a ball cap or a one of those tennis things. Sorry, I've been host to three (including my own) teenage girls and my brain cells are being chased by B*d Light.
ReplyDeleteWell I can't tell you a solution but I CAN tell you how glad I am that I have friendly company in the bald women world! LOL Thin hair that leads to (sigh) baldness is my genetic gift too. My mom wears a wig. Truthfully I think she looks better w/ a wig than she ever did without it. (grin) Wait, there's the answer. A big hair wig!!! ROFL
ReplyDeleteBahahaha. A big hair wig! Is that even legal?
ReplyDeleteI've never commented on your blog (but I do enjoy reading of your "adventures!"), but I too have thin, scraggly hair. My sweet little Mamaw had pretty thin hair and I guess I got that from my dad too.
ReplyDeleteAbout a year ago, I quit using commercial shampoo. I "wash" with baking soda (1/2 tbs in my wet hand and then work through my hair) and then rinse with a water/apple cider vinegar mix (1 c. water and 1 1/2 tbs of ACV). It has taken a year, but my hair is lovely! It doesn't look as thin as it did before and I'm not loosing nearly as much daily as I did before. I can't say that I am experiencing new growth, but I do think my hair is more full than it was before. Another thing is that my hair is CURLY now! I never knew!
Oh, one more thing--coloring your hair damages your hair which does give thin hair more body. Just another thought!
ReplyDeleteI just almost didn't click over out of my reader for this post. SO GLAD I DID! Love your pic montage.
ReplyDeleteMy diet totally affects my hair. I had always battled thinning. My mom, too. Anywho, when I pack on the green smoothies and get more veggies, take my multivitamin, I do absolutely notice a difference!
Green Smoothies???? Hmmm...should I dab some on like hair gel or drink it???? Just kiddin'
ReplyDelete