Stay Out Of The Fray

If you are a foster, bio or adoptive parent, you surely have experienced the strange dance of  crazy negative attention seeking behaviors that our children display...It is sooooo hard to "Stay Out Of The Fray" (as my grandmother used to say) and remain cool and detached. The Middle and Oldest Little are experts at creating chaos. They feed off of one another in a dizzying, unhealthy way; they are much like twin tornados

The casual details of thier life at home, what brought them into care, just leak out in their play and conversation in such a matter of fact - no big deal manner.  I must have said a dozen times yesterday "I'm sorry, the (dishwasher, TV, car, dog) was so loud, I didn't hear you. What did you say?" Because I couldn't have possible heard what they just said.  Did he really say that?  He did. Oh.My.Stars. I have anxiously spewed the summary of my days to two social workers and the Littles Attorney.  Their world view is skewed, tilted. Upside down. I am disturbed.

I am all for siblings remaining together - but sometimes I really wonder if it is the healthiest.

The Littles seem to be wired as heat seeking missiles - looking for a unsuspecting target to create the devastating explosions they are sadly used to. The familiar explosions that without, their day must seem just a little dull and boring.

I patiently redirect, I use my very best calm teacher voice.  I try to put a smile in my eyes. I remind them we use our words to show our feelings, not our hands and body. I remind them they are good boys, they can make choices. We made a little poster and hung it on the kitchen cabinet to remind them. They are trying to learn a new language. God love 'em, they do keep trying!

Just an aside.  The cologne/aftershave that James has just started wearing smells like cedar shavings.  Ya know. Hamster bedding? Yeah.  In addition to the smell of football equipment and adolescent boy funk, my house now smells like a Pet Shop. Lovely. I suppose in 90 degree heat, things could smell a whole lot worse.

The baby is napping.  Bobby has gone to a neighboring town to paint a four-square on the playground of  their Elementary School, James is grooving on watching one of the Little's Disney movies (it is never to late to have a childhood in our house!!!!) and the Littles are bickering as they play with MY action figurine collection on the front porch..yeah, I'm a good sharer...and today I made good choices about sharing my special toys today so I could get 20 minutes to blog......)

PS (Tornado pic is Twin funnels in Elkhart, Indiana on April 11, 1965.Photo from National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration/ Department of Commerce.  The other pics I just googled.  I have got to figure out how to properly acknowledge and use pics in my blog....)