What Attachment & Trust Issues Look Like

First, let me say, THIS is what a child with attachment and trust issues looks like:



This is what they sound like:
COUGH*COUGH*COUGH*HACK*HACK*COUGH*BARK*SNIFFLE*COUGH*BARK*BARK*HACK*SNIFFLE*HACK

Bobby has not stopped coughing since he didn't get the snack he wanted.

Oh.My.Goodness...Seriously.

Bobby has been home "sick" from school the past two days. Cold? Allergies? I dunno. I'm wanting to avoid the mucous thing since he's had a cough-free day today. I've loaded him up on clear liquids, fruit juice....and for the possible allergy part he's taken Benadryl, too.

So, for snack this afternoon he wanted a chocolate covered granola bar.




I said " Have some fruit - something light."

He sighs. "I really want the granola bar."

"Have some fruit or veggies."



He stares at me. His eyes narrow. Game On.

I brightly say:
"We have:
red apples
green apples
peaches
pineapple
applesauce
mandarin oranges
and carrots."


He grabs the granola bar, reads the ingredients and says "It has nuts in it"'




I take a deep breath and say "Yup, it does. You can have fruit or veggies"

He stares. I can hear the gears in his brain calculating his next move.




I open the fridge door, and doing my very best lovely Carol Merril, give the Grand Tour of what's behind Door Number One:

"We have:
red apples
green apples
peaches
pineapple
applesauce
mandarin oranges
and carrots."

I pause.




He glares.

He re-opens the veggie drawer and says "I'll have the bannana."




Much to his surprise the yellow thing is a zucchini/summer squash and NOT a bananna (which he only wanted anyhow because I DIDN'T list it as an option.)



He glares.

I smile.

His nostrils flare a little.

I say "Listen - Your nose isn't running and you're not coughing are you?"

HUGE MISTAKE ON MY PART....

What I meant was "Because you've been following Dr. Mom's Medical Advice you don't have a runny nose and you aren't coughing phlegm like a wounded Harbor Seal every three minutes and therefore should keep listening to what I say until you get better."



At first I thought he didn't catch my meaning - Because he instantly started coughing and grabbed a dinner napkin to dramtically "wipe" his nose.

Maybe he interpreted what I said as "IF your nose is running AND you have a nasty cough THEN you can have the granola bar."

A few seconds of violent wounded Harbor Seal coughing go by and I realize, he understands my meaning all right. No confusion there.

Because I implied that our medical and parental care had something to do with his state of wellness, he was compelled to cough VIOLENTLY and suddenly begin to sniffle and wipe in order to PROVE ME WRONG.



His usual pathology is adults are NOT to be trusted, NOT to be relied on, and I am NOT his parent (merely his staff) and could NOT possibly know what is best for him.

He stares.

Now, it is my turn to glare.

He says "I guess I'm really not hungry after all."



And - he hasn't stopped coughing since.



(written 3:30 p.m.- 4:30 pm Tuesday)