Calm day at the Ocean
Hang Gliders at the surfer's beach
I just love the Ocean off season...so peaceful
At our favorite Pond
The day we left there were incredible wind gusts, snow and rain - a real winter storm at the ocean.
Two weeks ago we went away to the OCEAN for AK's birthday. He turned 14. AK stands for Average Kid...When he came to us in June (his seventh time in foster care and his second time staying with us) we had not yet had an "AVERAGE KID". We had no idea what to do. We stil don't.
Since he turned 14, a new maturity has settled in his bones. He tires quickly of the childish baby-talk, squealing, animal noises and genral disregulation that happens too quickly whenever Bobby and CAL play. AK now *sighs* and looks at me with his sorrowful brown eyes, *sighs* again, shakes his head in distaste, and says "kids". I try not to laugh out loud. He may be more mature now, but, thankfully still loves to play jokes and tease. Our oldest (oldest child who currently lives at home) is also our smallest kid. AK still wears size 10-12 at 14 years old.
He saw his Mom for his birthday. She got him a box of honey bun pastries, a box of cake mix and a can of frosting, and a birthday card written on a piece of white art paper with a blue bic pen. Not even magic marker on his card. Sad. Very, very Sad. We got him 2 jeans and 2 tops, a inexpensive watch, trac-fone minutes and a bag of food treats.
His Mom had at least 2 different biopsies this past week and we are hoping for some news on her prognosis (we know she has cancer in SEVERAL organs) He is a wreck -trying to be all positive on the outside, but inside he is awfully sad.
On Thursday he called his Social Worker at DFS when he didn't hear about his regular visit with Mom. Social Worker called back and told him there wsasn't a visit this week as they were switching visits to every other week because the Social Worker is too busy to try to round up AK's 3 younger sisters from 3 different foster homes for a two hour vist (that takes AK and I an hour and a half to drive to). Crap. Very sad news. He knows his Mom has cancer and misses her terribly. He cried. No, I take it back. He bawled his eyes out. I don't blame him one damn bit.
He was talking about maybe trying to go see his step-dad who is in jail for the next five years for domestic violence. I wish his life wasn't so messed up -if this keeps up, he won't be Average Kid for long....
So, for now, we just talk, play, relax and enjoy him as much as we can for as long as we can....Average Kid or not.
And what is so wonderful is you are providing AK with some average experiences...regular ol', family things that will help him someday when it's his turn (hopefully at about age 35) to be a dad and he will carry with him what a family is like. there is nothing average about the way you two put the love out there, the acceptance, the understanding and the "we're here for you....always, no matter what"...what a gift. And excuse me, the social worker is too busy to make sure four children have time to visit with their mom who it sounds like to me is terminal?! Give me a break.
ReplyDeleteAverage Kid- that is so funny! I had some bizarre moments when I had my first daughter worried that I wouldn't know what she was supposed to be doing. I had worked with so many kids with disabilities- physical/ emotional and kids with psych disorders, abuse survivors etc.. I had concerns I would not know what to do with an average kid.
ReplyDeleteSOoooooo sad about his Mom. Too much to hope she has a computer probably huh? That they could Skype? Maybe some of the other sibs do though. Just a thought.
That is an awful lot for a 14-year old to have to endure. Makes a hard age way harder. I am glad he has you.
ReplyDeleteSW doesn't have the right to change visits like that. SW is violating AK's and all the other children's rights. Too bad if it was taking up so much time, SW gets paid for it. In CA, AK would now have the right to be heard in court on this. With his mother having cancer and being nearly terminal, I doubt any judge or jury would listen to the SW story. AK should call his SW and tell her to restore them or he'll sue. Even on a voluntary agreement, he'd have that ability.
ReplyDeletethose pictures make me miss the ocean, my hearts breaks for AK, what a crappy hand. I hope that things get better for him.
ReplyDelete