So today The Other Mother and I sat in on Cal's therapy when he told his therapist that...Well, what I WISH he told his therapist is that he sees an IMAGINARY person named Frank that lives in his closet and talks to him. Sadly, Cal beleieves this "Frank" is a REAL person. Cal's odd behaviors since his arrival in September support his recent disclosure. See yesterday's post for more specifics.
Anyhow, I'm pretty fried from today. The Cliff Notes version of our therapy session is that Cal's therapist explained that Frank could just be a very complex friend that may or may not stick around (he did NOT use the word imaginary)or Frank could be a short circuit in his brain that makes him see or hear something that isn't there - and then there are medicines that can help fix the short circuit. That it is important for them to talk more about it to figure it out together...Cal's therapist's plan is to check in often and talk about "Frank", and for Cal to let one of us know when "Frank" is scaring him or asking him to do things he doesn't like.
We had a few minutes wrap up while Cal sat in the waiting room. Basically a wait and see sort of thing. Doesn't think Cal is in need of meds at this point based on what he is seeing today. Cal is not having olfactory aspects, for example. "Frank" does have not have god-like powers. Cal seems to have some control over "Frank". Blah Blah Blah. He wanted to think about the "secondary" or useful benefits of seeing "Frank".
We get that when your Mom neglects you and others abuse you, it can be pretty freaking useful to have an imaginary friend, like Jiminy Cricket, to keep you company and watch over you......HOWEVER, Cal isn't seeing a happy little cricket in a top hat singing words of encouragement. We are talking about seeing a tall scary guy wearing a floppy fishing hat that can make snakes come out of his eyes).
We get that imagination can be useful when dealing with difficult situations. HOWEVER this is NOT feeling useful to Cal. In fact, it seems to be scaring the crap out of him. Tonight he said he's worried Cal will do something to him in his sleep because he told everyone all about Frank. Lovely.
I think Cal was relieved to have talked about it in therapy, BUT on the ride home expressed he didn't think his therapist really understood about Frank. After therapy he had a lunch visit with his Grandma and Bio Mom. At lunch he told them about Frank. He said his Mom just laughed but his Grandma was real quiet. Real quiet.
Grandma knows. We know. Cal knows. Frank knows.
We are all just waiting, patiently, for the therapist to know.
I'm so sorry :( I hope he gets the support he needs soon! Thank goodness he has people who will adovocate for him....
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you and Cal. I greatly admire what y'all are doing. I am praying for you guys. That Frank goes away and Cal gets some help.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry too that you haven't gotten more from the therapist on this. Any chance someone can get more info from grandma. It does seem like a really serious issue.
ReplyDeleteI would add though that I appreciate the therapists "caution." My oldest, who was severely neglected and left alone for days on end starting when he was an infant, talked to himself non-stop and behaved as though in conversation/discussion/argument/play with someone else. Eventually he described the "guy" he was interacting with and some of the scary things the "guy" told him. The psychiatrist upped some of his meds, did med changes, etc. and it didn't change. After months of therapy and psych appointments we discovered that the "guy" was a visual image he had created to go with the thoughts/idea he was having in his head because he had never realized that we "hear" our own thoughts in our heads (like reading silently.) Not saying this is going on for Cal but just sharing that I would have appreciated greater caution on the professionals part. What helped us was my writing down EVERY thing he said about this "guy" AND asking my son to share the "conversations" every time I suspect he and this "guy" were talking. Over time this disappeared although he still talks incessantly :-) (my son not the "guy".)
I respect the therapist, and do appreciate his caution - but my "gut" reaction/intuition says this is the real deal. That we are seeing the beginnings of some serious mental health issues for Cal. His Tourettes was diagnosed by this same therapist this winter. He worked with Cal around it in a very thoughful way. Cal came home with "happy news to share" because he had a name for the things he did: "Tics". So we hope if it is the real deal, the therapist will be just as kind and empowering for Cal.
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