2010. Wow. What to make of this year ????
In addditon to parenting Alex 21 and Bobby 12, we foster parented several kids this year:
Baby Dee 8 months, AK 13, Cal 12, Jared 11, Baby Boy 3 months, James 14, The Littles 4 and 5 and their baby brother: The Littlest 7 months...
All have left, though James is still with us. Although that changes every time we speak to a Social Worker or Therapist. He is either with us for four years or leaving this month. Whatever. We are just going with the flow.
Our two oldest girls have made the next steps in settling into their adult lives: our first foster daughter made us Grandma's with a beautiful baby boy and our oldest foster daughter moved to Las Vegas with her fiance!
Too many kids to keep track of some days - I need a dance card. Never mind the card. I just need to dance. With The Other Mother, of course!
I'm tired of mothering right now. Cranky even. My heart is a litle raw from all the energy invested and all the good-byes. Don't get me wrong -We've been blessed with continued contact with Baby Dee and her Mom, phone calls from Cal's grandma, phone calls from another Mom whose kids we cared for in foster care several years ago. Her 2 boys go to school with 2 of our boys from this year (it's like a strange little club: kids who have been in foster care at our house share this "common bond" at their school... a little bit odd that they wound up all together there and we live an hour away.....
Anyhow - we are enjoying the break from foster parenting and will use this time to assess our next steps: Move to a different New England State? Adopt? SeminarySchool? Change jobs? Fix and repair our house or sell? Sell my parents' cottage? Help Alex buy a house?....Wayyyyy too much to think about, which is why I am not gonna think about it today...tomorrow is another day.
Personally, I am looking to get healthier, lower the blood pressure, get more limber (yoga?) lose some inches and get a few pounds smaller and keep feeling good about life and not letting my tendency towards depression get the better of me. Keep reading and sewing and making free time with friends and The Other Mother a priority. No specific goals - but a general focus and direction I can refine, and hone as the month goes on....
I am so grateful to be going to Orlando in a few short months to connect and see with my very own eyes a few dozen of the amazing women from across the country that have held me up throughout the year with their love and encouragement and wisdom and humor...........
The Other Mother has taken the boys skiing for the second day in a row and I am left here all by my lonesome. Yep. Alone. Well, alone except for 2 cats, 3 dogs and a 21 year old who works late and sleeps even later.
Our dear, dear friends (Cindy and Patty) are coming tonight for lobsters, corn on the cob, home baked sourdough bread with salad and baked apple pie made by my 86 year old neighbor...yummmmmmmmm. A little wine, a sip or two of champagne and watch the fireworks on the lake.....a very Happy New Year, New England Style.
Wishing you and your families a very healthy and happy year ahead!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Fragments The Day Before The Day Before
It's been a whirlwind week much like everyone else's, I'm sure.
Bobby hosted the Holiday Gathering of his older sisters at our house this year. Although there wasn't much gathering. His eldest sister is married and a US Marine stationed in a mid Atlantic state and is expecting her first child in two weeks. His middle older sister, 18, did not come, did not return phone calls and did not return texts. Very, very sad. His youngest older sister is only 15 and doesn't yet drive. So we drove over the hills and far away to the little New England Hamlet she lives in. She lives with an amazing family that over the years have adopted many kids - a great family!!!! She and Bobby had a fabulous time and have made plans to hang out together again in January.
I found this photo of my son and his sisters a few months ago on an agency website and blog. It was taken a few years ago so I will assume that all the appropriate permissions were secured then by the appropriate Social Workers and Agency Directors or it wouldn't have been posted there in the first place. They really are a cute bunch:
The Other Mother and I have had at least 3 date nights this month. Bliss. I so enjoy her company. For several weeks we have had an outing each week - either for work or for one of our foster/adoption groups. It has been nice to step out.
I'm currently hooked on watching Season 3 of Dexter into the wee hours of the am. It probably says something about me as a foster parent that my current favorite show is not SUPER NANNY or MODERN FAMILY - but DEXTER! Granted, he does have attachment disorder, fakes his emotions and was adopted from foster care - themes I am all too familiar with. He may be a serial killer -but he's a nice serial killer: He has a code of honor and only kills the bad guys...
Oh - and we named our new dog, Dexter, in honor....Called the The Dog Control Officer this am and he was releived to hear I had changed his name from Brodie (the Dog Officer's name!) to Dexter. Though I still think Brodie is a lovely name! The vet and we both think he is a BORDER TERRIER and he is settling in fine. Note the 2 baby gates - he can leap like a gazelle:
James may be with us til Feb or til he graduates high school in four years - sort of depends on which way the wind is blowing or if it is a month with an "r" in it. Still waiting on an eval that will hopefully get him some much needed support services when he returns home to Mom. Yeah. It's gonna take a village. Or two. Maybe a village and a small town and at least one block of a major city...I dunno.
Got the electric bill for my deceased parents' far-away cottage near the seashore: $14.63. I freaked out. It is never lower than 22 - 23 bucks as it is unoccupied. So if the bill is $23 unoccupied - then why is it $14 in the dead of winter in the middle of a serious cold snap????? Ummmmm maybe cuz the furnace isn't working? said my over-active doomsday imagination....Anyhow. After several hours of pacing, imagining burst pipes and frozen water and freaking out I called a neighbor down there who checked and assured me EVERYTHING is fine and the furnace is running great. PHEW.
I've been quietly enjoying our "Little-free" zone since the 4 and 5 year old brothers, affectionately known as "The Littles", moved to their Aunt's home before Thanksgiving.
Still closed for foster placements until mid January. We are enjoying the peace and quiet (OK - relative peace and quiet) with just our two boys at home.
Our adoption plans are also on hold... We are registed with the Division of Family Services as adoptive, foster to adopt and foster in our part of the state. I guess we'll see what happens next.
Chocolate covered pretzels are Satan's work....I have been a good girl taking my vitamins - but washing them down with a handful of chocolate covered pretzels is probably not my best choice.
This afternoon (if I can get my act togther) we are heading to a nearby New England State for a week of rest and relaxation and Christmas splendor with our crew....Internet service is spotty at best, so Merry, Merry Christmas!!!!!!
Bobby hosted the Holiday Gathering of his older sisters at our house this year. Although there wasn't much gathering. His eldest sister is married and a US Marine stationed in a mid Atlantic state and is expecting her first child in two weeks. His middle older sister, 18, did not come, did not return phone calls and did not return texts. Very, very sad. His youngest older sister is only 15 and doesn't yet drive. So we drove over the hills and far away to the little New England Hamlet she lives in. She lives with an amazing family that over the years have adopted many kids - a great family!!!! She and Bobby had a fabulous time and have made plans to hang out together again in January.
I found this photo of my son and his sisters a few months ago on an agency website and blog. It was taken a few years ago so I will assume that all the appropriate permissions were secured then by the appropriate Social Workers and Agency Directors or it wouldn't have been posted there in the first place. They really are a cute bunch:
The Other Mother and I have had at least 3 date nights this month. Bliss. I so enjoy her company. For several weeks we have had an outing each week - either for work or for one of our foster/adoption groups. It has been nice to step out.
I'm currently hooked on watching Season 3 of Dexter into the wee hours of the am. It probably says something about me as a foster parent that my current favorite show is not SUPER NANNY or MODERN FAMILY - but DEXTER! Granted, he does have attachment disorder, fakes his emotions and was adopted from foster care - themes I am all too familiar with. He may be a serial killer -but he's a nice serial killer: He has a code of honor and only kills the bad guys...
Oh - and we named our new dog, Dexter, in honor....Called the The Dog Control Officer this am and he was releived to hear I had changed his name from Brodie (the Dog Officer's name!) to Dexter. Though I still think Brodie is a lovely name! The vet and we both think he is a BORDER TERRIER and he is settling in fine. Note the 2 baby gates - he can leap like a gazelle:
James may be with us til Feb or til he graduates high school in four years - sort of depends on which way the wind is blowing or if it is a month with an "r" in it. Still waiting on an eval that will hopefully get him some much needed support services when he returns home to Mom. Yeah. It's gonna take a village. Or two. Maybe a village and a small town and at least one block of a major city...I dunno.
Got the electric bill for my deceased parents' far-away cottage near the seashore: $14.63. I freaked out. It is never lower than 22 - 23 bucks as it is unoccupied. So if the bill is $23 unoccupied - then why is it $14 in the dead of winter in the middle of a serious cold snap????? Ummmmm maybe cuz the furnace isn't working? said my over-active doomsday imagination....Anyhow. After several hours of pacing, imagining burst pipes and frozen water and freaking out I called a neighbor down there who checked and assured me EVERYTHING is fine and the furnace is running great. PHEW.
I've been quietly enjoying our "Little-free" zone since the 4 and 5 year old brothers, affectionately known as "The Littles", moved to their Aunt's home before Thanksgiving.
Still closed for foster placements until mid January. We are enjoying the peace and quiet (OK - relative peace and quiet) with just our two boys at home.
Our adoption plans are also on hold... We are registed with the Division of Family Services as adoptive, foster to adopt and foster in our part of the state. I guess we'll see what happens next.
Chocolate covered pretzels are Satan's work....I have been a good girl taking my vitamins - but washing them down with a handful of chocolate covered pretzels is probably not my best choice.
This afternoon (if I can get my act togther) we are heading to a nearby New England State for a week of rest and relaxation and Christmas splendor with our crew....Internet service is spotty at best, so Merry, Merry Christmas!!!!!!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Who Says I Can't Say No???
Rec'd an email from my fabulous sister-in-law Karol today. She was getting the word out on a 3-4 year old male dog whose days were well beyond numbered. This dog had been in the care and custody of a nearby animal control officer who brought him home this week because he couldn't bear to put him down. So I sent her an emphatic yet polite "No" and typed info to post on my Facebook page.
I called the Other Mother seeking her advice how to post the dog's pic from email to facebook...and well, once we saw his stinkin' cute little ugly face...well how could we NOT call the dog officer for more info?????
And so, I called Brodie the dog Officer...and...we made a plan to meet the dog at a well known grocery store/farmstand located half way between our two towns and ....well....
Meet Dexter:
His story is he was abandoned when his owners moved (college students??) and had been seen living in the woods for a week until the dog officer was able to scoop him. He is bigger than he looks (he is beagle size and very UGLY....cute but ugly!!!!!!) He sort of looks like Toto on steroids.....
He was evaluated at the dog pound and gets along great with other dogs and ignores cats...which is good because we have Sarah a 13 year old Golden Retriever we adopted two years ago and Riley a white miniature schnauzer who is 9 and neurotic, and two cats (one of whom weighs 17 pounds and is larger than the schnauzer...)....so really, what is one more anyhow??????
He didn't come with a name as he was abandoned. Earlier today I had been calling him BRODIE, which is the Dog Officer's name - but that seems a little weird and unimaginative. Then we thought FOSTER would be a cute name - but foster and foster care does not always conjure warm fuzzy images....which is why I chose DEXTER - after my favorite Serial Killer
I called the Other Mother seeking her advice how to post the dog's pic from email to facebook...and well, once we saw his stinkin' cute little ugly face...well how could we NOT call the dog officer for more info?????
And so, I called Brodie the dog Officer...and...we made a plan to meet the dog at a well known grocery store/farmstand located half way between our two towns and ....well....
Meet Dexter:
His story is he was abandoned when his owners moved (college students??) and had been seen living in the woods for a week until the dog officer was able to scoop him. He is bigger than he looks (he is beagle size and very UGLY....cute but ugly!!!!!!) He sort of looks like Toto on steroids.....
He was evaluated at the dog pound and gets along great with other dogs and ignores cats...which is good because we have Sarah a 13 year old Golden Retriever we adopted two years ago and Riley a white miniature schnauzer who is 9 and neurotic, and two cats (one of whom weighs 17 pounds and is larger than the schnauzer...)....so really, what is one more anyhow??????
He didn't come with a name as he was abandoned. Earlier today I had been calling him BRODIE, which is the Dog Officer's name - but that seems a little weird and unimaginative. Then we thought FOSTER would be a cute name - but foster and foster care does not always conjure warm fuzzy images....which is why I chose DEXTER - after my favorite Serial Killer
So the dogs and cats and kids have all met, sniffed, peed, peed and peed and then sniffed some more. Now they are all exhausted sleeping on the kitchen floor here while I post. So far so good. The dog Officer agreed to take him back if there were any problems - but it is looking good! He has a vet appointment tomorrow afternoon - but I expect he'll get a clean bill of health. But he is one ugly dog.
Apparently we aren't the only adoptive family doin' what we do best. Kari at Coffee Catharsis posted today about SAMPSON, her own new doggie addition to her lovely family.
Merry Christmas Dex and Sampson!
Monday, December 20, 2010
I Think I Know Where Jimmy Hoffa Might Be Hiding
I've been laying low - reading other folks' blogs but have not had much to say for myself. There are a few blogs I read every day but hardly ever comment on (I guess that makes me a lurker - which sounds so tawdry and icky....) and other blogs I usually have a comment for (I hope that doesn't make me a stalker? !) One of the reasons why I haven't been actively writing my own posts is I've been quietly freaking out here in not-so-snowy-New England.
I'm currently trying a wait and see approach with 4 large breast cysts. Large as in walnut, grape, grape and Almond Joy. Really. Found the lump, ignored it for a month or two then when it didn't go away I went for the mamogram, and found out the lump was just one of several lumps.
Went for the ultrasound: ("Hmm? Lump? No, It's big - Let's call it a mass!" said the wayyy tooo cheerful ultrasound tech)
I got the written ultrasound report ("no abnormal findings" - WTF????? I have a lump the size of a candy bar in my breast and you're telling me this isn't abnormal???)
I went to the doctor/nurse practitioner. The Nurse Practitioner was way too casual for my internal state of total anxiety: "Yes you have 4 cysts. What should I do? Well....Have you thought about losing weight?"
Uh - excuse me? could you just chop my bewbs off NOW with a chainsaw, dammit! Really. Now. My nurse practitioner smiled her vacant Stepford Wives smile and calmly suggested Weight Watchers instead. I didn't hurt her, as tempting as it was. I just asked for a consult with my favorite surgeon: a great doctor who also has TWO sets of twins.
Anyhow. For several weeks I tried wrapping my mind around all the possibilites. Last week I FINALLY went to see my favorite surgeon. She did my two prior surgeries for breast lump removals in 2008 and 2009. Love her. Trust her. She explained that cysts are rarely cancerous, come and go and being overweight can contribute. So, although my Nurse practitioner's message delivery was abominable - her content was spot on. Vitamins have been useful for some folks in shrinking some cysts some of the time...Draining sometimes helps - but sometimes they come back. Surgery is an option - but the cysts are big and I don't relish the idea of my breasts looking like swiss cheese.
The doc says the cysts are in deep and difficult to feel (What do you mean you can't feel them? WTF???? : walnut, grape, grape Almond Joy. I mean, Really? Is Jimmy Hoffa hiding in my right bewb, too??????) The doctor can't feel them because I am well endowed and if she can't feel them to hold them she can't do the aspiration in her office. I'd have to have an ultrasound guided aspiration (translated it means some radiology geek who works in a dark room and reads xrays all day and has no people skills will be the lucky guy to simultaneously rub an ultrasound wand on my well endowed Teamster-hiding breast and poke me with an needle.
Good times.
Which is why I am trying vitamins (E, B6, Evening Primrose and B1) and waiting another month to see what happens. The cysts recently have begun to hurt and I have been binding my chest as certain movements feels like ripping/tearing/burning. OUCH. I am so not loving being a girl right now.
In the mean time I still have this on my Christmas wish list:
I'm currently trying a wait and see approach with 4 large breast cysts. Large as in walnut, grape, grape and Almond Joy. Really. Found the lump, ignored it for a month or two then when it didn't go away I went for the mamogram, and found out the lump was just one of several lumps.
Went for the ultrasound: ("Hmm? Lump? No, It's big - Let's call it a mass!" said the wayyy tooo cheerful ultrasound tech)
I got the written ultrasound report ("no abnormal findings" - WTF????? I have a lump the size of a candy bar in my breast and you're telling me this isn't abnormal???)
I went to the doctor/nurse practitioner. The Nurse Practitioner was way too casual for my internal state of total anxiety: "Yes you have 4 cysts. What should I do? Well....Have you thought about losing weight?"
Uh - excuse me? could you just chop my bewbs off NOW with a chainsaw, dammit! Really. Now. My nurse practitioner smiled her vacant Stepford Wives smile and calmly suggested Weight Watchers instead. I didn't hurt her, as tempting as it was. I just asked for a consult with my favorite surgeon: a great doctor who also has TWO sets of twins.
Anyhow. For several weeks I tried wrapping my mind around all the possibilites. Last week I FINALLY went to see my favorite surgeon. She did my two prior surgeries for breast lump removals in 2008 and 2009. Love her. Trust her. She explained that cysts are rarely cancerous, come and go and being overweight can contribute. So, although my Nurse practitioner's message delivery was abominable - her content was spot on. Vitamins have been useful for some folks in shrinking some cysts some of the time...Draining sometimes helps - but sometimes they come back. Surgery is an option - but the cysts are big and I don't relish the idea of my breasts looking like swiss cheese.
The doc says the cysts are in deep and difficult to feel (What do you mean you can't feel them? WTF???? : walnut, grape, grape Almond Joy. I mean, Really? Is Jimmy Hoffa hiding in my right bewb, too??????) The doctor can't feel them because I am well endowed and if she can't feel them to hold them she can't do the aspiration in her office. I'd have to have an ultrasound guided aspiration (translated it means some radiology geek who works in a dark room and reads xrays all day and has no people skills will be the lucky guy to simultaneously rub an ultrasound wand on my well endowed Teamster-hiding breast and poke me with an needle.
Good times.
Which is why I am trying vitamins (E, B6, Evening Primrose and B1) and waiting another month to see what happens. The cysts recently have begun to hurt and I have been binding my chest as certain movements feels like ripping/tearing/burning. OUCH. I am so not loving being a girl right now.
In the mean time I still have this on my Christmas wish list:
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Cover Me Murphy!
For a few scary minutes tonight I was thinking of taking the whole crew to the mall this week for the final Christmas shop. The mall???? The week before Christmas???? Yeah, don't worry. It's not happening.
I was also thinking back to this summer and the challenge it was to get out of the house with all the kids. First I'd herd them out the door to the van. After everyone is all buckled safely in their car seat, I'd go back in the kitchen to close up the house and get the things I can't safely carry while herding/carrying the littles. Ya know - keys, glasses, purse, snacks, bills, donation bag for S*lvation Army and a boiling travel mug of coffee.
Getting them (really, me) ready to leave the house feels like I'm in one of those WWII guy movies: "Cover me Murphy! I'm goin'in!" as I leap from the foxhole, dodging bullet fire...racing towards the bombed out buildings, grenades exploding everywhere, heading across the deserted Village courtyard towards certain danger.
Hmmm. At my house it is more like: step over the dog in the doorway, grab my coffee mug, scoop the car keys, race through the downstairs looking for my phone or my glasses(which are usually in my pocket or on my head the whole time), pick up the pile of bills to mail, stop and stare vacantly trying to remember what else I was supposed to do today, put everything down and look for appointment book in pile of papers on kitchen counter, check appointment book, double check kitchen calendar, pick everything up again and spin on the landing with a purse flung over my shoulder, heading bravely towards the child filled mini. PHEW.
Yeah. There's no way I'm taking the kids to the mall this week. Cover me, Murphy! I'm NOT goin' in.
I was also thinking back to this summer and the challenge it was to get out of the house with all the kids. First I'd herd them out the door to the van. After everyone is all buckled safely in their car seat, I'd go back in the kitchen to close up the house and get the things I can't safely carry while herding/carrying the littles. Ya know - keys, glasses, purse, snacks, bills, donation bag for S*lvation Army and a boiling travel mug of coffee.
Getting them (really, me) ready to leave the house feels like I'm in one of those WWII guy movies: "Cover me Murphy! I'm goin'in!" as I leap from the foxhole, dodging bullet fire...racing towards the bombed out buildings, grenades exploding everywhere, heading across the deserted Village courtyard towards certain danger.
Hmmm. At my house it is more like: step over the dog in the doorway, grab my coffee mug, scoop the car keys, race through the downstairs looking for my phone or my glasses(which are usually in my pocket or on my head the whole time), pick up the pile of bills to mail, stop and stare vacantly trying to remember what else I was supposed to do today, put everything down and look for appointment book in pile of papers on kitchen counter, check appointment book, double check kitchen calendar, pick everything up again and spin on the landing with a purse flung over my shoulder, heading bravely towards the child filled mini. PHEW.
Yeah. There's no way I'm taking the kids to the mall this week. Cover me, Murphy! I'm NOT goin' in.
Friday, December 17, 2010
I just cannot stop listening to this song. If I didn't know better, I'd say I'm getting the Christmas Spirit!
Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus
Text: Charles Wesley, 1707-1788
Music: Rowland H. Pritchard; harm. from The English Hymnal
1. Come, thou long expected Jesus,
born to set thy people free;
from our fears and sins release us,
let us find our rest in thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
hope of all the earth thou art;
dear desire of every nation,
joy of every longing heart.
2. Born thy people to deliver,
born a child and yet a King,
born to reign in us forever,
now thy gracious kingdom bring.
By thine own eternal spirit
rule in all our hearts alone;
by thine all sufficient merit,
raise us to thy glorious throne.
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