See Ya Later 2010

2010. Wow. What to make of this year ????

In addditon to parenting Alex 21 and Bobby 12, we  foster parented several kids this year:
Baby Dee 8 months, AK 13, Cal 12, Jared 11, Baby Boy 3 months, James 14, The Littles 4 and 5 and their baby brother: The Littlest 7 months...  

All have left, though James is still with us.  Although that changes every time we speak to a Social Worker or Therapist.  He is either with us for four years or leaving this month.   Whatever. We are just going with the flow.

Our two oldest girls have made the next steps in settling into their adult lives: our first foster daughter made us Grandma's with a beautiful baby boy and our oldest foster daughter moved to Las Vegas with her fiance! 

Too many kids to keep track of some days - I need a dance card. Never mind the card.  I just need to dance. With The Other Mother, of course!

I'm tired of mothering right now. Cranky even.  My heart is a litle raw from all the energy invested and all the good-byes.  Don't get me wrong -We've been blessed with continued contact with Baby Dee and her Mom, phone calls from Cal's grandma, phone calls from another Mom whose kids we cared for in foster care several years ago.  Her 2 boys go to school with 2 of our boys from this year (it's like a strange little club: kids who have been in foster care at our house share this "common bond" at their school... a little bit odd that they wound up all together there and we live an hour away.....

Anyhow - we are enjoying the break from foster parenting and will use this time to assess our next steps: Move to a different New England State? Adopt? SeminarySchool? Change jobs? Fix and repair our house or sell? Sell my parents' cottage? Help Alex buy a house?....Wayyyyy too much to think about, which is why I am not gonna think about it today...tomorrow is another day.

Personally, I am looking to get healthier, lower the blood pressure, get more limber (yoga?) lose some inches and get a few pounds smaller and keep feeling good about life and not letting my tendency towards depression get the better of me. Keep reading and sewing and making free time with friends and The Other Mother a priority. No specific goals - but a general focus and direction I can refine, and hone as the month goes on....

I am so grateful to be going to Orlando in a few short months to connect and see with my very own eyes a few dozen of the amazing women from across the country that have held me up throughout the year with their love and encouragement and wisdom and  humor...........

The Other Mother has taken the boys skiing for the second day in a row and I am left here all by my lonesome. Yep. Alone.  Well, alone except for 2 cats, 3 dogs and a 21 year old who works late and sleeps even later.

Our dear, dear friends (Cindy and Patty) are coming tonight for lobsters, corn on the cob, home baked sourdough bread with salad and baked apple pie made by my 86 year old neighbor...yummmmmmmmm. A little wine, a sip or two of champagne and watch the fireworks on the lake.....a  very Happy New Year, New England Style.

Wishing you and your families a very healthy and happy year ahead!

Christmas Vacation Haiku

Boys are playing Wii.
To hell with shoveling snow.
Take a nap instead.

Fragments The Day Before The Day Before

It's been a whirlwind week much like everyone else's, I'm sure.

Bobby hosted the Holiday Gathering of his older sisters at our house this year. Although there wasn't much gathering. His eldest sister is married and a US Marine stationed in a mid Atlantic state and is expecting her first child in two weeks. His middle older sister, 18, did not come, did not return phone calls and did not return texts. Very, very sad. His youngest older sister is only 15 and doesn't yet drive. So we drove over the hills and far away to the little New England Hamlet she lives in. She lives with an amazing family that over the years have adopted many kids - a great family!!!! She and Bobby had a fabulous time and have made plans to hang out together again in January. 

I found this photo of my son and his sisters a few months ago on an agency website and blog.  It was taken a few years ago so I will assume that all the appropriate permissions were secured then by the appropriate Social Workers and Agency Directors or it wouldn't have been posted there in the first place.  They really are a cute bunch:

The Other Mother and I have had at least 3 date nights this month. Bliss. I so enjoy her company. For several weeks we have had an outing each week - either for work or for one of our foster/adoption groups. It has been nice to step out.

I'm currently hooked on watching Season 3 of Dexter into the wee hours of the am. It probably says something about me as a foster parent that my current favorite show is not SUPER NANNY or MODERN FAMILY - but  DEXTER! Granted, he does have attachment disorder, fakes his emotions and was adopted from foster care - themes I am all too familiar with. He may be a serial killer -but he's a nice serial killer: He has a code of honor and only kills the bad guys... 

Oh - and we named our new dog, Dexter, in honor....Called the The Dog Control Officer this am and he was releived to hear I had changed his name from Brodie (the Dog Officer's name!) to Dexter.  Though I still think Brodie is a lovely name! The vet and we both think he is a BORDER TERRIER and he is settling in fine.  Note the 2 baby gates - he can leap like a gazelle:

James may be with us til Feb or til he graduates high school in four years - sort of depends on which way the wind is blowing or if it is a month with an "r" in it. Still waiting on an eval that will hopefully get him some much needed support services when he returns home to Mom. Yeah. It's gonna take a village. Or two. Maybe a village and a small town and at least one block of a major city...I dunno.

Got the electric bill for my deceased parents' far-away cottage near the seashore: $14.63. I freaked out. It is never lower than 22 - 23 bucks as it is unoccupied. So if the bill is $23 unoccupied - then why is it $14 in the dead of winter in the middle of a serious cold snap????? Ummmmm maybe cuz the furnace isn't working? said my over-active doomsday imagination....Anyhow. After several hours of pacing, imagining burst pipes and frozen water and freaking out I called a neighbor down there who checked and assured me EVERYTHING is fine and the furnace is running great. PHEW.

I've been quietly enjoying our "Little-free" zone since the 4 and 5 year old brothers, affectionately known as "The Littles", moved to their Aunt's home before Thanksgiving.

Still closed for foster placements until mid January. We are enjoying the peace and quiet (OK - relative peace and quiet) with just our two boys at home.

Our adoption plans are also on hold... We are registed with the Division of Family Services as adoptive, foster to adopt and foster in our part of the state. I guess we'll see what happens next.

Chocolate covered pretzels are Satan's work....I have been a good girl taking my vitamins - but washing them down with a handful of chocolate covered pretzels is probably not my best choice.

This afternoon (if I can get my act togther) we are heading to a nearby New England State for a week of rest and relaxation and Christmas splendor with our crew....Internet service is spotty at best, so Merry, Merry Christmas!!!!!!

Who Says I Can't Say No???

Rec'd an email from my fabulous sister-in-law Karol today. She was getting the word out on a 3-4 year old male dog whose days were well beyond numbered.  This dog had been in the care and custody of a nearby animal control officer who brought him home this week because he couldn't bear to put him down. So I sent her an emphatic yet polite "No" and typed info to post on my Facebook page.

I called the Other Mother seeking her advice how to post the dog's pic from email to facebook...and well, once we saw his stinkin' cute little ugly face...well how could we NOT call the dog officer for more info?????

And so, I called  Brodie the dog Officer...and...we made a plan to meet the dog at a well known grocery store/farmstand located half way between our two towns and ....well....

Meet Dexter:

His story is he was abandoned when his owners moved (college students??) and had been seen living in the woods for a week until the dog officer was able to scoop him.  He is bigger than he looks (he is beagle size and very UGLY....cute but ugly!!!!!!) He sort of looks like Toto on steroids..... 

He was evaluated at the dog pound and gets along great with other dogs and ignores cats...which is good because we have Sarah a 13 year old Golden Retriever we adopted two years ago and Riley a white miniature schnauzer who is 9 and neurotic, and two cats (one of whom weighs 17 pounds and is larger than the schnauzer...)....so really, what is one more anyhow??????

He didn't come with a name as he was abandoned. Earlier today I had been calling him BRODIE, which is the Dog Officer's name - but that seems a little weird and unimaginative.  Then we thought FOSTER would be a cute name - but foster and foster care does not always conjure warm fuzzy images....which is why I chose DEXTER - after my favorite Serial Killer

So the dogs and cats and kids have all met, sniffed, peed, peed and peed and then sniffed some more.  Now they are all exhausted sleeping on the kitchen floor here while I post. So far so good.  The dog Officer agreed to take him back if there were any problems - but it is looking good! He has a vet appointment tomorrow afternoon - but I expect he'll get a clean bill of health. But he is one ugly dog.

Apparently we aren't the only adoptive family doin' what we do best. Kari at Coffee Catharsis posted today about SAMPSON, her own new doggie addition to her lovely family.

Merry Christmas Dex and Sampson!

I Think I Know Where Jimmy Hoffa Might Be Hiding

I've been laying low - reading other folks' blogs but have not had much to say for myself.  There are a few blogs I read every day but hardly ever comment on (I guess that makes me a lurker - which sounds so tawdry and icky....) and other blogs I usually have a comment for (I hope that doesn't make me a stalker? !) One of the reasons why I haven't been actively writing my own posts is I've been quietly freaking out here in not-so-snowy-New England.

I'm currently trying a wait and see approach with 4 large breast cysts. Large as in walnut, grape, grape and Almond Joy. Really. Found the lump, ignored it for a month or two then when it didn't go away I went for the mamogram, and found out the lump was just one of several lumps.

Went for the ultrasound: ("Hmm? Lump? No, It's big -  Let's call it a mass!" said the wayyy tooo cheerful ultrasound tech)

I got the written ultrasound report ("no abnormal findings" - WTF????? I have a lump the size of a candy bar in my breast and you're telling me this isn't abnormal???)

I went to the doctor/nurse practitioner.  The Nurse Practitioner was way too casual for my internal state of total anxiety: "Yes you have 4 cysts. What should I do? Well....Have you thought about losing weight?"

Uh - excuse me? could you just chop my bewbs off  NOW with a chainsaw, dammit! Really. Now. My nurse practitioner smiled her vacant Stepford Wives smile and calmly suggested Weight Watchers instead. I didn't hurt her, as tempting as it was. I just asked for a consult with my favorite surgeon: a great doctor who also has TWO sets of twins.

Anyhow.  For several weeks I tried wrapping my mind around all the possibilites.  Last week I FINALLY went to see my favorite surgeon. She did my two prior surgeries for breast lump removals in 2008 and 2009. Love her. Trust her.  She explained that cysts are rarely cancerous, come and go and being overweight can contribute. So, although my Nurse practitioner's message delivery was abominable - her content was spot on.  Vitamins have been useful for some folks in shrinking some cysts some of the time...Draining sometimes helps - but sometimes they come back. Surgery is an option - but the cysts are big and I don't relish the idea of my breasts looking like swiss cheese.

The doc says the cysts are in deep and difficult to feel (What do you mean you can't feel them? WTF???? : walnut, grape, grape Almond Joy. I mean, Really? Is Jimmy Hoffa hiding in my right bewb, too??????) The doctor can't feel them because I am well endowed and if she can't feel them to hold them she can't do the aspiration in her office. I'd have to have an ultrasound guided aspiration (translated it means some radiology geek who works in a dark room and reads xrays all day and has no people skills will be the lucky guy to simultaneously rub an ultrasound wand on my well endowed Teamster-hiding breast and poke me with an needle.

Good times.

Which is why I am trying vitamins (E, B6, Evening Primrose and B1) and waiting another month to see what happens. The cysts recently have begun to hurt and I have been binding my chest as certain movements feels like ripping/tearing/burning. OUCH. I am so not loving being a girl right now.

In the mean time I still have this on my Christmas wish list:

Cover Me Murphy!

For a few scary minutes tonight I was thinking of taking the whole crew to the mall this week for the final Christmas shop. The mall???? The week before Christmas???? Yeah, don't worry. It's not happening.

I was also thinking back to this summer and the challenge it was to get out of the house with all the kids. First I'd herd them out the door to the van. After everyone is all buckled safely in their car seat, I'd go back in the kitchen to close up the house and get the things I can't safely carry while herding/carrying the littles. Ya know - keys, glasses, purse, snacks, bills, donation bag for S*lvation Army and a boiling travel mug of coffee.

Getting them (really, me) ready to leave the house feels like I'm in one of those WWII guy movies: "Cover me Murphy! I'm goin'in!" as I leap from the foxhole, dodging bullet fire...racing towards the bombed out buildings, grenades exploding everywhere, heading across the deserted Village courtyard towards certain danger.

Hmmm.  At my house it is more like: step over the dog in the doorway, grab my coffee mug, scoop the car keys, race through the downstairs looking for my phone or my glasses(which are usually in my pocket or on my head the whole time), pick up the pile of bills to mail, stop and stare vacantly trying to remember what else I was supposed to do today, put everything down and look for appointment book in pile of papers on kitchen counter, check appointment book, double check kitchen calendar, pick everything up again and spin on the landing with a purse flung over my shoulder, heading bravely towards the child filled mini. PHEW.

Yeah. There's no way I'm taking the kids to the mall this week. Cover me, Murphy! I'm NOT goin' in.

I just cannot stop listening to this song. If I didn't know better, I'd say I'm getting the Christmas Spirit!

Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus


Text: Charles Wesley, 1707-1788

Music: Rowland H. Pritchard; harm. from The English Hymnal

1. Come, thou long expected Jesus,


born to set thy people free;

from our fears and sins release us,

let us find our rest in thee.

Israel's strength and consolation,

hope of all the earth thou art;

dear desire of every nation,

joy of every longing heart.



2. Born thy people to deliver,

born a child and yet a King,

born to reign in us forever,

now thy gracious kingdom bring.

By thine own eternal spirit

rule in all our hearts alone;

by thine all sufficient merit,

raise us to thy glorious throne.

Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness: Migraine

September 13-19 WAS National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. So I'm late. Real late. Shoot me. I learned about it on Corey and Social Worker 24/7's blogs quite a while back. I was inspired by them to write my own post about MIGRAINES. Which I did, saved as a draft, then promptly forgot about it.....so here goes:
The illness I want to talk about is: Migraine

I was diagnosed with it in: in my early forties after several months of several migraines per month.  I'm 49. I have a great neurologist from Ireland and I adore him for doing the full work up and finding me pain relief.  I am most grateful that he explained why my triggers are not always triggers.  He gave me a visual example of  how physical, environmental, chemical and hormonal changes all come together in a perfect storm to acheive the migraine.  How our triggers are sometimes innocuous because of the many factors that must come together, and if one element of the equation is missing you might not even get a headache. It was so liberating to understand why sometimes I'd be dying with a migraine on days 2-3 of my period  and other times, nothing...or when I was convinved that certain foods like bacon or wine or cheese would set me off , and then they wouldn't. I had thought I was going crazy. I still may be going crazy, but not about my migraine triggers. 

I also love my neurologist because when I asked him about a few sentences in my MRI report describing a dozen or so focal lateralizations he said in his Irish brogue,"Oh those. Oh. Nothing too nasty to worry about."  More comforting words were never spoken.

But I've struggled with it since: Early Thirties- but they were very sporadic and because of the nausea and vomiting I thought I was just dying of the 12 hour flu - or just dying. Really.  That bad. I didn't realize you could have vomiting with a migraine. No clue. Then I was working at a high school subbing in a health class and they had this really amazing health library series with a concise book on a specific illness or disease or addiction or drug for the kids to do research...so I skimmed  the book on Migraines and brought it home.  It was an amazing eye opener for me. I could then talk about it with my Dr. who sent me to a neurologist who sent me for a MRI.....

Most people assume: That migraines are just headaches for wimps or an exaggeration or a dramtic cop-out to dealing with life. As in: I can't (vaccuum, get off the couch, go to the concert tonight, etc.) I have a migraine....

The medications I take: I take Zomig inhaler as an abortive (stops an existing migraine if I take it at the first sign). If the migraine has already happened - Zomig doesn't work. This is a problem as I often wake up at 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning because of the intense pain of the migraine that has been brewing in my sleep...

I keep an Zomig inhaler on my bedside table in arm's reach- cause if I wake with a migraine, I can't even lift my head off the pillow without feeling like I'm gonna die.

I do get a signal or warning that I'm getting a migraine.  I feel silly saying "aura".  I get nauseous and this strange wiggly vision thing where everything is wavey and jumpy (sort of like the heat off a highway distorts the air on a hot summer's day).

If I have a hint a migraine is coming on in the daytime I have taken Advil Migraine or Excedrin Migraine with a cofffe or cola chaser. Advil Migraine is a gel cap and seems to work better than Excedrin. I have also taken Ibuprophen with a Tylenol chaser if I don't have access to the migraine medicine. I've also just tried to sleep it off by taking a nap. The Other Mother will remind me to take something if I am being stupid and trying to just plow ahead with my day.

If the migraine is full blown  it is too late to take my Zomig, then sleep and time are the only things that will knock it out.

I have Relpax pills which I don't like to take...the nausea of my migraines quickly turns to vomiting and then I'm not sure if the pill is in my bloodstream or not.  Then I worry if I should try and take another dose, because it will probably start me puking again...or whether I'll die from taking too much scary migraine medicine?  Way too much to think about with a piercing pain and vomiting...so I stick to my Zomig.

I have Compazine if the nausea is awful but I'm afraid to take it with my migraine medicine so I usually don't.

I do not take a preventative.

Regarding other and/or alternative treatments: I read about, but did not try,  alternative therapies. I do notice that sleep (lack of sleep) can be a problem if you add in the other triggers.

I do modify my diet to avoid foods that I have eaten at the time of migraines in the past...but it stinks because these are foods I really, really like and I don't always get a migraine with them. Enough times I have eaten these suspicious foods and felt like dying after that make me avoid: bacon, cured meats like salami, smoked cheesed, smoked meats, MSG, wine, and foreign processed foods that contain a long list of preservatives or ingredients I am not familiar with. 

I flat out refuse to even consider the possibility that chocolate could be a trigger.  I'm NOT giving up chocolate. Nope. No way.

We also sadly noticed that most every time we'd go away for the weekend I'd wake with a whopper of a migraine the next morning- and then we figured it out: one of the triggers is ahhemmmmm, ya know....ummm...orgasms. Really. And I'm NOT giving up those either.....

If I had to choose between an invisible or visible illness: Visible. It makes it easier for others to get it so I don't have to explain it.

People would be surprised to know: That for almost a decade, beginning in our early twenties, I used to roll my eyes at my sister-in-law when she would complain of a migraine and not attend family functions.  These were family events that I too would have  loved to miss. I didn't believe in migraines. I thought she was just being devious, manipulative and dramatic. Yeah.  Then I got one. Holy Crap.  She has my retroactive sympathy and sincere apologies. I mean she is devious, manipulative and dramatic (three reasons why I love her) - but she wasn't faking it on the migraines. I know that for sure, now. I'm very sorry Ruth.

When someone is diagnosed, I want to tell them: Take care of yourself.  Keep a calendar.  Look for patterns. Educate yourself. Set limits on whatever known triggers are in your control (like sleep, or diet) to try and avoid the migraine in the first place. 

Be mindful that migraine medicines can kill you as well as cure you.  Don't take other meds with migraine medicine without checking with both your Dr. and a pharmacist.  Truly.

If you have a boss let them know how having migraines will affect your work, what it might look like...etc.  How often it might occur, what you will do to meet your work obligations, etc. I met with my boss and showed him my inhaler, my prescription and explained how migraines affect me and the rare side effects of the medicine itself.  I always notified another co-worker if I was taking my med in case I passed out or something and they'd know it might be a med reaction.  Because my med is a bullet shape/size  inhaler, I also didn't want anyone thinking I was snorting c*ke or something or that I might be "impaired" by taking my medicine.

When I'm not feeling well, people can help me by: Bring me an inhaler if there isn't one on the bedside table. Let me sleep. Leave me alone - I can't handle any sound, light, thinking, moving. OWWWWWWWWWWWWW. If the nausea has turned to vomiting, my pain is even worse.  I'm also scared because it hurts so much. I'm afraid I'm gonna burst a blood vessel and croak. I feel bad that I'm not able to do whatever and that I'm spoiling the day for my family or missing out on seeing them enjoy the day because I'm in bed or puking or wishing I would die because it hurts so much.

I want to be involved with National Invisible Illness Awareness Week because: If I had truly known about migraines I wouldn't have rolled my eyes at my sister-in-law for over a decade.  Well, I probably still would have - but it would have been for other reasons...Besides, all the cool kids like Corey and Social Worker 24/7 were sharing their invisible illnesses....so I'm doin' it.

*This meme was shortened/adapted from one used by Social Worker 24/7, also found here and was originally viewed at Corey's blog.

Dear First Time Foster Parent

Dear First Time Foster parent:

I understand you were told the child you have been fostering the past six months will be leaving this week to go to a relative. Your heart is breaking and I am so sorry for your pain.  I'd like to share some things I have come to learn as a foster parent. Things I may understand, but not always accept. Things that have helped, but not eliminate the pain of saying goodbye.

It doesn't make it any easier to know the child will be returned to relatives, and not be returning anytime soon to their bio-parents.  What matters to your heart right now is they are leaving you. It doesn't matter that they are going to relatives and not staying with strangers (Uh...that would be us: the strangers: the foster parents.  We are the strangers.  Strange, huh? Ok. I admit we are perfectly lovely strangers with  a fondness for bagels, a keen sense of sarcasm and irony, with advanced college degrees, but we are still strangers!

It's really not about whether we are "better" parent than a relative or if we can provide a nicer home or more meaningful developmentally appropriate educational and social activities than the relative. In this case I'm gonna guess all things being equal between a relative and "us" - biology trumps strangers. And foster parents are still strangers.  Remember? We are the strangers. Nice strangers. But, still, strangers.

There are plenty of "better" folks we each could be "partnered" with or "married" to take care of us. Would I have a better life if you plucked me away from The Other Mother and plopped me down in a gated Florida compound with John Travolta and his personal fleet of airplanes?  Maybe - but John is not my family and all things considered, I should get to go with my family - even if that means living in a boring subdivision in snowy New England with a mini-van instead of a jet in the driveway.

Why didn't they just go to relatives first? Why did they live in foster care at all? Why now? Foster homes are the safe place for kids to stay while the grownups figure things out. In this case, doing some additional investigation, looking at historical DFS records, personal history and relatives's current situation (and the relatives's relationship with the bio-parents) before a decision is  made. Time is good - it helps everyone do their best job without being rushed.  The kids need somewhere safe to be during that time.  That would be with us. The foster parents. The strangers.

It's not just about now - but a bigger future than we can currently imagine: So it's not just about the seven year old child's last six months with us but 6 months in the context of 75-80 total years of their lives. Yeah, yeah. this is where bonding assessments come in, I know....

It doesn't have to be forever to be important. As a teacher, I know I do not need to follow the kid for all 13 years of public education to see that I have had impact or meaning in thier lives...I have a role for that year and that gets them ready for the next step, the next grade, the next adventure (and as a foster parent, gets them ready for their next home.)

It does not get easier. 26 kids later and it still sucks when they leave. We cry. We mope. I overeat and overshop and get cranky. Grief in all it's forms visits my house. At least for us it does. The house is too empty, too quiet. For crying out loud, I found one of baby Dee's binky pacifier in my glovebox three weeks ago and my stomach dropped and my world went upside down for a minute. She's been gone  for eight months and we are still raw in our love and loss for her. Even though we are connected to her.  Even though her mom calls us and sends pictures and letters.  Even so, my heart greives for this loss.

I can remember last winter sitting at breakfast at the general store. I was holding Baby Dee and just looking at one of my wise Mountain Top Mom friends with tears welling up in my eyes not even having the words to express "How can I love her this much and let her go? How can I do this????" and this amazing wise mom just looked back at me with a thin smile of pained understanding and said with her eyes and heart and words "I know. I know". Years later there are still children who ache in her heart.

A foster child's absence leaves a hole in our daily living and routines. I'd be lying if I said it didn't. My heart still aches and my imagination still works overtime thinking what it would be like of some kids stayed and didn't leave...but for now The Other Mother and I are here to be foster parents and maybe... adoptive parents if circumstances work out right.

After some greiving time I usualy feel better and we answer DFS's placement calls with a "Let me check with The Other Mother, but I'm gonna say probably YES" rather than the "NO - we are just not ready yet" ...and then we start the process of fostering all over again....

so, Dear First Time Foster parent whose placment is leaving this week:

I don't have words to make the hurt any less, but know you are not alone.

Hugs,

Mama Drama

Quilting, Reading, Sleeping and The Other Mother

Now that the Littles have gone home and we just have James (14) and Bobby (12) I am trying to reclaim my life and get back to the things I really love but have neglected or put aside: like Quilting, Reading and Sleeping and spending time with The Other Mother. Thanksgiving weekend I immersed myself in all four:

QUILTING:

I made this sweet little baby quilt in an afternoon using a great Moda charm pack (42 different coordinating fabrics precut into 5 inch squares....). James' amazing Social Worker is expecting his first child (a little boy) in March. Of course my new grandson, Andrew, needs one too....

READING:

I inhaled 3 books over Thanksgiving weekend.  Oh.My.Stars! I had forgotten the pleasure of uniterrupted reading....well, I did take a break to make the baby quilt and maybe I interrupted for a midday NAP...or a cup of tea...or a bowl of Turkey soup....but other than that and a few bathroom breaks, my butt was glued to the couch READING.

So of the three: Most notable was Alan Bradley's The Weed That Strings The Hangman's Bag (A Flavia de Luce msytery) Loved it!!! Flavia is a spunky/precocious chemist and sleuth (and eleven years old). Do not be fooled by her age: this is not a young adult book - but a well written character that will draw you in and keep you turning the pages til the wee hours of the morn...I'm hooked.

John Sanford's Rough Country another fast paced, well written mystery series starring a likeable investigator Virgil Flowers called in by Lucas Davenport (Lucas is the main character in Sanford's 13+ book Prey series) to help solve a murder set in Northern Minnesota.

and lastly: Charlaine Harris' Aurora Teagarden Mystery: Three Bedrooms and a Corpse (southern cozy mystery series).  I love anything written by Charlaine...she did the Sookie Stackhouse series....

SLEEPING:
Since the Littles left I have slept late, napped and gone to bed early.  I don't know what it was about the combination of a 4,5,12 and 14 that had me bone tired - but I was more tired with this family configuration than I was with the newborn and 11,12 and 13 last Spring or with the infant and the 10, 11, 12 last year...........all I know is I am freakin' EXHAUSTED and still trying to catch up on my beauty sleep...........

THE OTHER MOTHER
If either of our two babysitters ever call back- we may actually go on a date tomorrow night and see a movie together (without children!!!)..If our sitter doesn't call back - I'm determined we will still have date night at home (maybe hang out and watch a movie without the kids....)

Anyhow - my point being that over the past few months I was becoming a little too one dimensional (foster/adoptive mom) and am determined to be the well rounded renaissance woman I used to be (reader/quilter/friend/wife/mother etc....)

I'll keep you posted!



It's December Already!

Geesh - it has been a whirlwind around here....

The Littles went home before Thanksgiving to a wonderful Aunt...I have nothing but good vibes about the whole thing.  Spoke to Aunt on Monday to remind her of a long standing Dr. appointment Tuesday morning for one of the kids. She said they went to a relative's house for Thanksgiving dinner who has a tradition of each person writing on a table cloth with a Sharpie marker what they are thankful for.  The Littles can sign their name - but not much more, so Aunt "Diane" asked Middle Little what he was thankful for and he said  ___(my real name), ____(The Other Mother's real name) and Aunt "Diane".  awwwwwwwww.

I've neglected my blog the past month - because for months I've neglected me, my delightful spouse, my wonderful friends and my cluttered house because I have been way too busy with kids, sports and all the various appointments everyone seems to have. 

Yeah I have dust bunnies you can saddle....  The only thing I don't like about my new career as a stay at home mom is that the dust and dirt is soooooo much more noticeable when the daylight comes in across the wood floors and shines on my counters.....When I used to work and get home at dark it wasn't quite so noticeable (and much easier to ignore and say "oh, I'll vaccuum Saturday"...)

The house is quiet...reallllllly quiet without the Littles.  I kinda like it when I'm not thinking it's too quiet.

James may be going home this winter (sooner rather than later) rather than after he graduates high school in four years.  He is of the age where his voice matters to the courts and he has been doggin' his lawyer asking to go home and not live with us and not be in foster care...what can we do but offer him our love and support and help develop a transition plan that sets him up for success.????... Still waiting on adjunct services for a variety of community providers to support him and Mom in their home. Much supervison is needed. Too bad there aren't foster parents for adults - ya know???? Some of these parents need as much support as their kids....*sigh*

We've declined placements for a 18 month old and her four year old sister and also said no to placement for a five year old boy...we are off-line til after January so we can catch our breath and just relax and connect as a couple and family for a little while......recharge the old batteries.

Speaking of recharging the batteries: I am actually going to go to bed early and read!!!!!!!