30 Day Challenge: Day 28: Your Purse

The contents of my purse (with explanations, of course)

3 check books - (the 3 different color elastic bands around the checkbooks help me identify the different "baskets" of money which are used for different purposes)
2 change purses - 1 practical containing coins, tokens and buttons, 1 was my mom's I remember her using when I was little and is empty because the clasp is worn)
1 small zipper bag containing lip gloss, a little cash; a driver's licence and credit card to "grab and go" when I don't want to schlep an entire purse
1 striped canvas zip bag with misc. store credit cards, gift cards, and gift certificates
CD on 50 states geared to elementary school aged kids
New large tube of Colgate toothpaste still in box (no idea why this is in my bag except kids helped me unpack groceries)
Photo of one of our recent foster babies. He was such a sweet little baby..*sigh*
Notes from phone conversations with social workers for a placement we declined
Eyeglass case (empty)
Eyeglass wipes
Has anyone seen my eyeglasses???????????
Sunglasses
A spare Tracfone with 1,074 minutes(My regular phone has 26 minutes left!!!!)
Business card from Magnolia Bakery in NYC (my new favorite bookmark)
A recipe I tore from a magazine at the psychiatrist's office (I bring in my stack of cooking and other magazines each month for the waiting room - so I have fresh material there...so I don't feel bad about tearing an article out of my magazine)
A postcard invite to a quilt show featuring the quilts of our adoption social worker, "The Stork"
A receipt for the new living room carpet
A Bic lighter I confiscated from one of my kids
Assorted pens, sharpies, markers
Blistex Silk and Shine lip gloss
Avon Color Slicks lip gloss in wine (yeah, I'm one of THOSE lesbians...)
Small spiral note pad
Portable pocket tape recorder (from my oldest son's college classes) so I know what size replacement tapes to buy
Zip drive in hot pink neoprene case with carabiner (no clue what is on it)
Hairbrush
Broken braclet in zip lock baggie destined for the jeweler's
Amazing African Coffee Beans from Corey that scent my purse and remind me that the world is filled with kind and loving people
A monogramed handkerchief
A beach parking sticker application from last spring I never finished filling out
Sanitary pad, tampon (just in case)
State park campsite map (highlighted with preferred sites)
Red Rose Tea ceramic Wade figurine "snowman" still in plastic bag
Isotoner gloves (cuz even in August in New England - it is sometimes cold enough in the morning to wear gloves!!!!)

That's all.

Day 27-Your worst habit

Day 27-My worst habit. That's really hard...hmmmm. Another toss up. It is either not being able to say "NO" to DFS foster care placement calls or always saying "YES" when they call to place kids with us.....

Yeah. It has been a WEEK like that here. Truly, the Littles are challenging our very best parenting skills. When I called today to get the Older Little a psychiatrist appointment, the receptionist said the end of November is the earliest appointment and only after completing several visits with one of their therapists. I explained the Little arrived in foster care taking twice an adult dosage and more than four times a child's dosage of a pretty serious med and that our very well respected family physician is NOT comfortable renewing and directed us to bring the Little to a psychiatrist. Our family physician was surprised (as were we) that the Little did NOT have an on-going psychiatrist in his hometown far-away and that the meds were prescribed by a pediatrician.

The receptionist must have correctly interpreted my "Are.you.kidding.me? The end of November??!!?", not as rudeness, but as the desperate sound of an feral foster momma trying unsuccessfully to advocate for her foster child.

She called back in less than an hour with an appointment for the first week of November and said she'd put me on a cancellation list.

Thank you sweet baby Jesus. Thank you Jenna the amazing receptionist!

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 26 - Your Week In Detail

My week in detail??? They are kidding? Right?? I can write it or I can live it - but I really can't find time to do both! Basically: Add 3 Football practices, 2 Football games, 2 soccer practices, 1 soccer game, 1 psychiatrist, 1 therapist, two supervised visits, 1 social worker visit and a whole bunch of madness and mayhem and you have my basic week.

30 Day Challenge: Day 25-Your day in great detail

Day 25-Your day in great detail.
6:15 Mumble Goodbye to Other Mother as she leaves for her once a month, very long drive to Lay Ministry Class in another New England State.
6:20 Roll over and mumble across hall to Middle Little to use the bathroom and put wet pull up in trash
6:25 use bathroom, put out clothes for Middle Little, go back to bed for 10 more minutes..
6:35 downstairs is alive with sound from the older kids - good sign since Coach is picking up James for far away football game at 7 am
6:36 put toothpaste on Middle Little's toothbrush and get him brushing
6:40 help Middle Little make bed
6:45 make my own bed so I don't crawl back in it
6:48 pick up toys with Middle Little, prompt him to get dressed
6:49 head downstairs
6:49:30 Grunt "good morning" to Bobby watching Toy Story 2 in living room.
6:50 Remind Oldest Little to play quietly for a few more minutes in his room
6:51 Put the dogs outside and ask James if he is ready for his coach to pick him up for far away football at 7am. Notice he is still in his pajamas, flip a nutty. Use the Lord God's name in vain - twice...ask him what he has been doing since 6 am and try not to burst a blood vessel when he says he had breakfast and put in a movie and was writing a rap.
6:51:30 Call the Other MOther on the road. Tell her my tale of woe..."Are.You.Kidding.Me?"
6:52 Sip and stare at the colorful fall leaves on hill in back yard Look for zen or sign from God. Notice my head is dull throbbing my stomach is queasy and my vision is quavery. Ughhhh - impending migraine signs.
6:53 bring the dogs in
6:54 Feed the dogs
6:58 Put the dogs out
6:59 Shreik at James who is still not dressed and does not have water in his water bottle. Grab all his stuff, throw it in a duffle bag, hand him his water bottle and tell him to go down the driveway and wait for coach and finish getting dressed there or in the truck since he has an hour ride...but get out of here and don't forget to tell coach how you used your time this morning.
7:00 Bring the dogs in
7:07 Call Other Mother while Bobby and one of the Littles eats breakfast.
7:09 Bring the dogs in
- Typing the time is wayyy too challenging -
Get Other Little for breakfast - NEVER a good idea to have them both in the same room before noon unless you enjoy disregulated rages....
Go to use guest bathroom
Notice pee on toilet seat and shudder
Clean pee off floor seat
Even though guest bathroom was bleached last nite it is still gross.
Reminder to self to check bathroom after every kid uses it
Wash hands in kitchen AFTER washing hands in bathroom.
Wonder if this is how compulsions and phobias begin....
Get each of the three remaining kids to either play or watch a movie
Unload the dishwasher
Load the dishwasher
Think about dinner tonite
Head down to basement freezer to get something to defrost for dinner
Find cat barf in basement next to freezer
Remeber that James told me about the barf last night and I conveniently "forgot" about it because I.could.not.take.one.more.thing.last night. Really. (involved kid peeing on floor/walls and trying to get matches and lighter from fireplace mantle...)
Clean up cat barf
Look into freezer for dinner ideas while holding bag of cat barf
Wonder if it is sanitary to look in freezer while holding cat barf. Think about washing my hands in the bathroom that the boys pee all over. Decide Cat barf is more sanitary than washing hands in my bathroom if I hold it in my left hand and use my right hand for freezer activity.
Think about my bathroom the boys pee all over. Wonder again if this is how complusions and phobias begin.
Lose appetite
Bring up a bunch of frozen stuff anyhow.
Throw away cat barf. Wash hands in guest bathroom.
So grossed out by guest bathroom, I wash hands again in kitchen
Kid uses guest bathroom.
I check the bathroom after kid uses it.
Wash hands in kitchen. Twice.
Take 3 Ibuprophen and I Tylenol for impending migraine. Drink water. Pray.
Rewind Disney movie for kids
Press play
Think about a cup of tea.
Realize I am out of milk
Decide nothing is worth taking these kids into a grocery store...nothing.
Send 3 kids to pee before getting in car
load kids to go to soccer Drive 5 miles with anxious irritable children
Get to soccer
Unpack chairs, beach mats and toys. While I am doing this Middle Little blindside tackles Older Little who goes to the ground in a shreiking screaming mess. Middle Little sent to sit on mat for "time out"
Middle Little throws a book at me, spits and shreiks. Sits on beach mat and punches water bottle, kicks feet, gets dirt on water bottle then spits, and makes angry noises for the entire soccer game.
I take photo of Middle Little spitting as the new wallpaper on my phone
Older Middle stares vacantly into space and leans against me because his meds have finally kicked in.
Leaning on me, he sighs. I do, too. Love this kid - even with all the crazies and peeing and such.
After what seems like forever, the soccer game ends and we drive home
Talk to Other Mother on her lunchbreak from class until we lose our signal
Get mail at bottom of driveway
home at last!
Put dogs out
James home from football - showers
bring dogs in
Send kids out to play so I can make lunch
listen to kids scream that they hate playing and don't want to play that playing it stupid and they don't think it is fair they have to play
Open the door call kids inside since they don't want to play
Listen to kids shreik and scream that it isn't fair they NEVER get to play
Take more Ibuprophen
Burn grilled cheese sandwiches. Start again.
Feed kids lunch
Listen to Middle Little cry when he realizes grilled cheese is NOT chicken nuggets.
Load dishwasher
Send Middle Little upstairs for rest time. Remind him that I will come get him in two hours. He can wait for me and have regular bedtime or each time he asks a silly questin or comes to the stairs yelling :"Is it time?" "I'm ready to come down" "I done wiff my rest" I will then take 10 minutes off bedtime. For a little kid who can't tell time - he can sure get this concept and I haven't heard a peep from him (which is why I am able to sit now and blog!!!!)
Load dishwasher
Wipe down table
Paint plastic model dinosaurs and scrap wood pieces for a scuplture with Older Little
Go over homework and school memos with James at the kitchen table in between helping Older Little paint his wooden pieces for his sculpture.
traffic control kids playing in and out and watching "Air Bud" Movie while I finish today's blog post

Theoretically - this is how the rest of my evening will go:
start dinner
Talk to Other Mother on phone as she begins her long drive home after class.
at dinner
Clear dinner
Load dishwasher
start tubbies/showers
Other Mother will probably be home from her class by now
Monitor baths and pajamas
snack time
give kids evening meds
Put dogs out
Bring dogs in
brush teeth with kids
read kids stories
Tuck kids in
Check in with Other Mother about our days
Have tea
computer time for Mama
TV time for Other Mother
reheat tea
put dogs out
bring dogs in
give dogs cookies
head up stairs to bed
shower
reheat tea (I have amicrowave in the bedroom for just such an occaision!)
read my latest book or a magazine
Other Mother comes up to bed
Talk about the day again
Kiss her goodnite
reheat tea
read until midnight -
lights out
Sleep

LATHER RINSE REPEAT

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 24 - Where You Live

Where I live:


Moonlight in Vermont (song)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

"Moonlight in Vermont" is a popular song about the U.S. state of Vermont, written by John Blackburn and Karl Suessdorf and published in 1943.

The lyrics are very unusual for an American pop song of the 1940s, because they do not rhyme and are impersonal, focusing mostly on the sensory appeal of the Vermont countryside while alluding briefly to romance. The lyrics are also metrically subtle—each verse (not counting the bridge) is a haiku. The song is considered an unofficial state song of Vermont and is frequently played as the first dance song at Vermont wedding receptions.

An early version was recorded by Margaret Whiting in 1943. The song was also recorded by Jo Stafford in 1946, Willie Nelson in 1978, Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong in 1956, Earl Grant in 1961 and Frank Sinatra in 1957. Captain Beefheart recorded a song called "Moonlight on Vermont" for his album Trout Mask Replica (1969), which could be considered a parody of this song.

MOONLIGHT IN VERMONT
Written by John Blackburn & Karl Suessdorf

Pennies in a stream
Falling leaves, a sycamore
Moonlight in Vermont

Icy finger-waves
Ski trails on a mountainside
Snowlight in Vermont

Telegraph cables, they sing down the highway
And travel each bend in the road
People who meet in this romantic setting
Are so hypnotized by the lovely...

Ev'ning summer breeze
Warbling of a meadowlark
Moonlight in Vermont

Telegraph cables, how they sing down the highway
And they travel each bend in the road
People who meet in this romantic setting
Are so hypnotized by the lovely...

Ev'ning summer breeze
The warbling of a meadowlark
Moonlight in Vermont
You and I and Moonlight in Vermont

From Wikipedia.

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 23 - A Video

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 23 - A video: OK Go - White Knuckles - Official Video from Youtube.

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 22 - A Website

Day 22-A Website.  This was a tough call. But the winner is: Smitten Kitchen. Yummmmmmmmmmmmm

Smitten Kitchen is an accessible, digestible and incredible food blog. Really. She's a real mom of a one year old in NYC with an amazing food sensibility. Her archives are well organized, her family and daily life are interwoven into recipes...never mind Pioneer Woman, Smitten Kitchen is where it's at. I don't have to cook it - I just read it and -drool.

You should, too.

30 Day Challenge: Day 21-A Recipe

Day 21-A Recipe. Bobby's Ritz Bitz Chicken...Actually it is The Other Mother's Brother's recipe for chicken that Bobby used at Christmas to make a complete sit down holiday dinner for 7 people at the age of nine. Really.  He had moved in with us in August of 2007 and he wanted to host his siblings at his new home for Christmas with his "New Moms".  It was lovely to celebrate with two of his three sisters and an adult step-brother and his wife.

Of course, after, we learned that in order to promote attachment and nurturing opportunties with parental figures, children with Attachment issues and parentified children should not be cooking for others or even themselves. Our bad.  We just didn't know better.  Ever since, it has been a constant challenge to rein in our little Galloping Gourmet!

Shopping List
Boneless Chicken Breasts (cut in half for serving size) or Boneless Chicken Tenders
one 16 ounce tub of low-fat sour cream (you'll use at least half and can save half for dip or another recipe)
Box of Ritz Crackers (low fat or regular)
Non stick cooking spray
Buter or Margarine

Recipe
Bobby's Ritz Bits Chicken
Spray glass baking dish with non-stick cooking spray (glass pans = easy clean up)
Start with one sleeve of Ritz crackers - depends on how much chicken you have
Crush the crackers into small bits (use a masher or crush with the backof a large spoon)

                                           Bobby shows his stepbrother's wife how to crush crackers.

Pour crushed Ritz Crackers into a shallow bowl
Pour half of the sour cream into a shallow bowl
Set aside the remaining sour cream for another recipe (we made some dip)
dredge chicken breasts in sour cream
roll in crushed crackers
place in baking dish
dot with butter or margarine
bake at 350 for at least a half hour (all depends on how thick the breasts/tenders are)

Yummmmmmm

Cool dessert idea-
" Present Cake"
After frosting cut a fruit roll up to make "ribbons and a bow" to decorate the cake like a present

30 Day Challenge: Day 19: A talent, Day 20: A hobby

Hmmm. Day 19 of the 30 Day Challenge -A talent of mine.  This wasn't as easy as the other challenges. The Other Mother said I have a bazillion of them. She said I can look at something and replicate it in some art form: she says I have good "spatial relationship stuff ". I'm not sure what that means, but I smiled when she said it. She, too, is a creator should be posting samples of her own incredible art here .

Anyhow, I do like to create art - Which is also my hobby (day 20 of the challenge) but I have not yet locked into a particular medium. For me creating almost has a physical aspect.  It's like there is something intangible brewing inside that needs a physical place to go.  

I've tried printmaking (loved it), blacksmithing (too physical on the forearms), and oils (too smelly and messy to clean up). Mostly I like watercolors, acrylics, pastels, oil pastels, fiber, quilting, writing and knitting.  Oh, and making photograph inspired landscape quilts like I showed the other day. 

30 Day Challenge: Day 18 - Your Wedding

Day 18 : My wedding. After almost 18 years together, we decided to make it legal. Our wedding took place at home, the first day of summer, 2008. Our soon-to-be-adopted son, Bobby, walked us down the "aisle" to the justice of the peace.  Our neighbors stopped by on their way out to dinner and, when they heard we didn't have music, had their twins play cello and violin in the garden.  Our foster sons*, with their mom's permission, were our ring bearers.  It was just perfect.

*no longer in care so I may show their photo

Friday Fragments

The Other Mother is at her Annual Dinner for the large Community Youth Agency she runs.  She'll be home late tonight.  I don't like being a single mother.  I don't mind the work involved...but much like swimming in the ocean, it is much more fun (and safer) when you have a buddy.

I've got like 237 emails in my inbox. I read the first page tonight, answered a few emails and felt totally overwhelmed by the sheer volume. I don't even want to read them. Maybe if ignore them, they will all go away?  But I don't want to delete them in case there is something in there important I should read. Argh. Is this how crazy hoarders start??? On second thought - don't tell me.

James Social Worker took him out for a haircut and some serious male bonding time and to talk about his future plans. He came back with a very sharp haircut and smelling good (not like cedar shavings/hamster like his usual cologne...) and even had his eyebrows waxed???? Waxed! What???? Yeah - the brows look really good, too!  I had no idea manscaping began at such an early age.  He's off on a walk now to do some heavy thinking and process what he and his social worker talked about.

Every so often I get the urge to move. Well, every time I think about my winter and my dreaded driveway. Winter I like. It is my driveway that makes me crazy.  Here, the first leaves of fall are falling and I am already obsessing  about winter.  Quietly. If I obsessed out loud this early in the season I'd surely make The Other Mother crazy. I love her too much to do that. 

So anyhow, I was thinking about winter and that I needed to move somewhere where I can have a short flat driveway and so I hopped on the internet and I found a job for the Other Mother (doing what she does for the national community youth group) in  Colorado...She's all easy going and tolerant of me looking to "expand our horizons" but she does not feel the need to move cross country to do so (even if houses are like $200,000 less than they are around here...*sigh*.)  I guess that cheap housing might not be a fair trade off for winter ten months of the year. But I'd be willing to deal with 10 months of winter if I had a flat driveway.

A girl can dream - can't she?

The Middle Little is now enrolled in Head Start!  Yippee. He is sooo excited to be going to school like everyone else..but waiting until Wed, to begin is soooooo far away to a four year old.  I might as well have said "you'll be starting school in 373,654 days. If I hear "Maybe-A-Morrow-I-Go-To-School???" one more time..............at least he's stopped chanting "maybe I have a blow-knee-cheeze roll-up?"

The Biggest Little is extremely adorable and extremely challenging in his attention seeking behaviors and need for constant dysfunctional attention.  I am soooo trying to break the cycle by having clear consequences for his choices that are loving, natural and easily understood.  Easier typed than done.

I'm supposed to be buying my plane tickets for Texas - but all I want to do is make a cup of tea and break into the kid's sugary snack food treats...(again).....and then have some salty potato chips and a good cry.   

PMS???  Either that - or it's Friday.

G'nite.

30 Day Challenge: Day 17-An art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)

Maybe I'm supposed to show famous art or sculpture that inspires and moves me, but I am instead showing two quilts I created.  The first is a landscape view of the lake and islands that was inspired by a photo taken from the hill the first spring after we bought the house. The quilt is about 3 feet by 5 feet and now graces Alex's bedroom wall.

The crow quilt was inspired by the 3 realistic fake crows (made with feathers and plastic) that sat on the split rail fence in front of our house the first day we saw it with our real estate agent.  I was drawn to crows at the time of my mother's death when I witnessed my first mass crow exodus at dawn on the day my mother died.  A "crow convention" is the daily gathering at dusk and  communal roosting and early morning dispersal of hundreds and hundreds of crows.  I didn't know crows did this...I thought they hung out in thee little families of 5.... After that weekend I noticed crows everywhere. For example, there was one sitting on the fence cawing loudly by one of the two funeral plots I could have picked..so I picked the one with the crow. Silly things like that that comforted me at the loss of my mother. Anyhow, I am now drawn to crows and so created a small wall hanging that was also inspired by a pillow I saw in a catalog somewhere.  The lighting is poor - they are pecking at an ear of corn and the border fabric is sunflowers.

30 Day Challenge: Day 16- A Song That Makes You Cry (or nearly)

Day 16-A song that makes you cry (or nearly)


The War Was In Color by Carbon Leaf

I see you've found a box of my things -


Infantries, tanks and smoldering airplane wings.

These old pictures are cool. Tell me some stories

Was it like the old war movies?

Sit down son. Let me fill you in



Where to begin? Let's start with the end

This black and white photo don't capture the skin

From the flash of a gun to a soldier who's done

Trust me grandson

The war was in color



From shipyard to sea, From factory to sky

From rivet to rifle, from boot camp to battle cry

I wore the mask up high on a daylight run

That held my face in its clammy hand

Crawled over coconut logs and corpses in the coral sand



Where to begin? Let's start with the end

This black and white photo don't capture the skin

From the shock of a shell or the memory of smell

If red is for Hell

The war was in color



I held the canvas bag over the railing

The dead released, with the ship still sailing,

Out of our hands and into the swallowing sea

I felt the crossfire stitching up soldiers

Into a blanket of dead, and as the night grows colder

In a window back home, a Blue Star is traded for Gold.



Where to begin? Let's start with the end

This black and white photo don't capture the skin

When metal is churned. And bodies are burned

Victory earned

The War was in color



Now I lay in my grave at age 21

Long before you were born

Before I bore a son

What good did it do?

Well hopefully for you

A world without war

A life full of color



Where to begin? Let's start with the end

This black and white photo never captured my skin

Once it was torn from an enemy thorn

Straight through the core

The war was in color

30 Day Challenge: Day 15- My Dream House

My Dream Home????  That's easy: All the houses I've lived in with the Other Mother over the past 20 years. 

No matter

Where you are

There you are

And if

She's there too 

Then it

Must

Be home

That being said...A nice 5 bedroom, 2 3/4 bath home in a rural New England community with a great church community,  flat driveway (ours is so miserable we park at the bottom and trudge up in the winter....) Bonus features include: Woods and meadow. Near or on a lake.  Woodstove and fireplace. Hot tub. Wooden floors. Sunny side of the street so the house is bright and well lit during the day. A fenced in back yard area for the dogs and wee bairns. Lots and lots of closets and built in storage.  A mudroom with benches and cubbies for winter stuff and sports equipment. Laundry room on the main floor (not in the basement).  A wrap around porch on the front of the house.  A small covered sleeping porch at the back of the house. An outdoor shower with a pea gravel path to the back door. A bathroom with shower near the back door for muddy messes and dogs.  A daylight basement with it's own egress.  A bedroom or two on the main floor.  A small deck or patio off the main bedroom suite, Parking area for at least 6 cars (they'll all be driving someday!).  Wireless internet. Garbage disposal. Maybe one of those cool tube skylights that funnel sunlight into rooms, a skylight or two strategically placed for sunshine. A three car garage with room for all my junk. A shed for the lawn eqipment. A nice view of sunset and rolling hills and mountains. An easy drive to friends, groceries and civilization

Yeah. 

That should do it.

30 Day Challenge: Day 14 - A Non-Fiction Book

I just love the Best American Series, both fiction and non-fiction: each year amazing guest editors cull and select the very best of the best of North American published works and put it all together in a fabulous paperback package.  The series includes Best Mystery Storeis, Best Short Stories, Best Spiritual Writing, Best Travel Writing, etc. 

The Best American Science and Nature Writing is my absolute favorite for non-fiction...

30 Day Challenge: Day 13- A Fiction Book

There are just sooo many good books out there: I really loved Sena Jeter Naslund's book Ahab's Wife. .....probably my favorite book for this, the 40's, decade of my life.

When I was a teen it was Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keyes.

In my early 20's it was anything by Stephen King (pick one, any one...)

In my 30's I was hooked on short fiction: Best American Short Stories.

Now, in my 40's, my tastes are fairly eclectic. Ahab's Wife, though, was a lovely read, and a book I am certain will be picked up again.

Oh My Stars

Crazy disregulated kids this afternoon had me calling the neighbors for some emergency emotional support.   Today, the Littles were in a constant state of tears, rage and disappointment. In.con.sol.a.ble. The Littles have been having a tough time of things lately and are taking no prisoners.  Lately, as in, since they spoke to Mommy last night.  We are along for the ride.  Lucky us.

Thankfully the neighbors invited us over for an evening of chicken parm and joyful spontaneity... YUMMERS.  We brought the pasta and sauce (which had 2 eggplants and 4 cups of zucchini hiding in it!) and lemon pound cake and 4 cups of the 26 POUNDS of blueberries we picked this summer.... They supplied the chicken parm (so delish) and salad and WINE!!!!  The kids ate at the kitchen table and the big people ate in the dining room. A great dinner with great neighbors.

30 Day Challenge: Day 12-Something I Am OCD About

Day 12-Something I am OCD about  - hmmmmm.  Where to begin? I asked The Other Mother for some ideas and she, in her usual politically astute manner, said "I am sorry dear...did you say something? I didn't quite hear you..."

This time she understood I needed real blogging advice and threw caution to the wind and answered "buying stuff" then quickly edited and said "toilet paper and hiding paper towels."

True. I buy Scott Toilet Tissue in the big packages when it goes on sale and we must have 10 rolls under each bathroom sink and two new packages in the Little Boys' huge, huge closet. To which I reply to her "What? Do you plan on not ever using the bathroom again???"

I admit to buying Paper Towels and not leaving them out on the counter where the kids will use them needlessly.  I keep them under the 3 bathroom sinks, kitchen sink and one in the basement laundry room.  The Other Mother says I buy paper towels but we can't use them.  The Other Mother says I hide them where no one can find them.  Whatever.

But she was kind enough not to wade into the whole shopping thing.  She's so smart that way. One of the many, many reasons why I love her. Previous shopping complusions include, but are not limited to: perrenial plants, quilting fabric, beading supplies, antiques for resale, books, scrap booking supplies, etc. I generally get into a hobby/interest and exhaust it and move on.

The latest shopping compulsion was stocking up on nursey/baby stuff after we discovered we enjoyed fostering infants. Craigslist, Freecycle, Salvation Army, Thrift Stores...cheap, on clearance or free was how I accumulated the stuff. I have enough baby stuff now to foster infants until I collect Social Security.



The good news is that I am over my Ten Dollar Weekly Wednesday Salvation Army Half Price Day Baby Clothes Shopping Spree.  The last baby cured me of my need for adequate newborn clothes for my fostering stockpile.....this chunka-munka baby was 7 month and was wearing 12 and 18 month tops and 9 month and 12 month bottoms....I realize now that the whole correlation between clothing size to actual age is just a suggestion....so since I have accumulated a few clothes for each gender and in each size (0-3, 3-6, 6-9, 12 mo, 18 mo.) I should be good to go as a well stocked foster mommy.

Hmmmmm.  So if I'm over the baby clothes thing...

I guess that just means I'm ready for a new compulsion....

Blogging??????????????

Feeble Friday Fragments

I got my haircut twice this week.  The first was awful and needed some serious repairs...I feel a little hipper and less frumpy, dumpy and fifty....so I guess it is a good cut. No pics yet.

The Littles are settling in and we have managed to rein in most of the rages. Either that or we are just building up a tolerance level.

They have quietly declared a truce. There has been a lull in decorating the house with body flu*ids. Just in time.  I was running low on bleach spray cleanser.

However, in light of recent events: My new twist on the Alphabet Song. I'm pretty sure some of my readers are familiar with the tune....

"A-B-See Pee*
E- EFF Pee*
H-I-J- OKAY What's with the Pee*?
Hell... M-N-
NO-More-Pee*
Q-R-S-Is that Pee* by the T-V?
W-X
Y-Me? and Z."

Biggie Small (the older Little) started Kindergarten this week. Too cute.  He has his backpack with his writing books and folders....so very sweet!

My oldest son calls me just to say "hi" and it totally makes my day...of course today I was in the psychiatrist's waiting room with the four amped up kids...so my end of the conversation was a little light, but he understood. Bless his heart.

One of Bobby's 3 older sisters gave birth this morning to a baby girl. My little boy is an uncle!  Another older sister is due end of Dec.

I sent in my money for ORLANDO....Yeah. We are soooooo looking forward to hanging with some wonderful Moms who parent their hearts out. Are you going? You should.  You are worth it and then some.

We are groovin on this "grown up time" thing : Going to a Regional Foster Parent Conference  in New England this Fall and flying to Texas for a Women of Faith gathering in October. Heck, I'm gonna need a social secretary before the year is out!

Then again, maybe I won't need a social secretary as we have cancelled our babysitter the last 3 times in a row because we don't think it is fair or safe to leave her at the mercy of these four yahoos. Seriously.  We are going to do several practice runs where she babysits while we are home...the sad part is...she is really skilled, but, but there is just ONE of her...and four of them.  The Other Mother and I have a hard enough time with the meltdowns at bedtimes with the crew and there are TWO of us....

James informed us he is on both the JV and Varsity teams and has a game on Saturday and Sunday this weekend.  Huh? I get to go to TWO football games each weekend in addition to the scrimages thrice weekly on school nights.  Wow. Have I mentioned I hate football????

Oh and the best:  Tonight the police came a looking in our neighborhood for a partially dressed guest of the local jail who found an opportunity to, how shall I say???? ESCAPE. Yeah. Escape. A blond caucasian male in his 20's wearing a t-shirt and boxer shorts....ummmm No....Not here.  But can I interest you in four kids to take back instead??????

That's all.

30 Day Challenge: Day 11: A Photo of Me Taken Recently

This was harder than it sounds as I am more often taking the photographs these days instead of the subject of the photo. Seems like I'm always lugging something around, though.

30 Day Challenge: Day 10-A Photo taken over ten years ago of you

This was harder than it sounds because I don't have any photos loaded on the computer before the summer of 1999. So: June of 1999. Alex's Baptism Day. After Church my Ex-husband hosted a lovely barbeque for Alex's whole family. My parents, The Other Mother's parents, her 2 brothers and their families, The new wife's mother and 2 sisters and brother and their families, Brian's parents and most of his six siblings and their families....  It was a great day to have all of Alex's people together.  When Alex was little (4-5) he said he wanted to be a bus driver when he grew up so his whole family could be together.  I just love that kid!

Left to right: Rima, married to Brandon (the Godfather), Alex, The Other Mother (the Godmother),  My Ex-husband Brian, Me, my Ex-husband's wife Betsy.

30 Day Challenge: Day 9: A photo that I took

Day 9-A photo I took of Cody the dog and Nicodemus (Nick) the cat in 2008 being total snuggle buddies and outrageous bedhogs: laying across our king size bed and pushing me to the outer edges. Yup that lump near the bedpost is my feet... My shin and thigh a pillow for each spoiled beastie. I'm barely even on the bed for heaven's sake!

30 Day Challenge: Day 8: A photo that makes me angry or sad

Two years ago on June 21, we quietly "eloped" in our front yard and were married by a Justice of The Peace. We were soon to be adopting Bobby and our being married was another way to protect him and make our family even more legal in a country where not every state recognizes same sex adoption. Besides, after almost 18 years together- what the heck? We did not invite family members, just at the very last minute we invited The Other Mother's parents. Sadly, this caused a huge rift between us and her family that time has not healed. If anything, it has exposed even more "big" feelings: their not recognizing Bobby as a grandchild, for example, and their disapproval of our providing foster care. We used to spend most Sundays at their house for "Sunday Supper" and pretty much every holiday. So it makes me sad that our family isn't welcome there and we no longer have that connection. It also makes me angry that for so many years I really thought we were an accepted part of their family. I feel now like we were just tolerated until we crossed a line. It makes me sad that I am not yet in a place to forgive and forget and move forward. It makes me angry at myself for having a cold place in my heart where there should be warmth and forgiveness. This whole thing also makes me miss my Mom and Dad, who have been dead now for 10and 8 years. My parents did accept us and I'm so sad they aren't here to enjoy Bobby, see Alex grown and how our family has evolved.

 This is a photo of the family we estranged from that makes me both sad and angry and was taken in 2004.

30 Day Challenge: Day 7: A photo that makes me smile.

Two brothers who were the ring bearers at our wedding in 2008.  They are no longer in foster care, so I can show their photo.  They remain in contact with us actually called us yesterday to see what we were doing. Not an uncommon occurance on a long holiday weekend. I'm sure they were working their Mom's last good nerve! On Mothers' Day this year, their Mom brought all 4 kids by with gifts for us.  Hers was the only greeting card we received on Mothers Day! Seeing these boys and remembering their time with us truly makes me smile.

Dear Abby: Is this normal?

Dear Abby:

Standing here in the kitchen, The Other Mother just told me in her most emphatic voice that she needs to go to 7*11 or Dunk*n Donuts so she can use their bathroom.  OKaayyyyyy????.... We have two full and one half baths...and she needs to (ahem) "go" elsewhere? 

I'm guessing it has to do with the fact that we have four boys with bad aim, a warped sense of cleanliness, BIG FEELINGS, and limited attention span to attend to the task at hand.

She thinks the bathrooms are contaminated.  I'm afraid she may be right.

Tonight we used a spray bleach cleanser on the floor, walls and toilet and we are still a little grossed out in our own home.......is this normal?

30 Day Challenge: Day 6: Twenty Things I Love

Random
1.    The Other Mother
2.    Reading
3.    Cup of hot tea in the evening
4.    Travel mug of coffee in the morning (made with love by The Other Mother)
5.    Long drives in the car
6.    All things New England (with a shout out to Vermont and Cape Cod!)
7.    The smell of the earth as it begins to rain
8.    Laughing til I pee my pants
9.    Hot showers
10.  Puppy bellies
11.  My children
12.  Handcrafted artistic creations
13.  Drippy juicy saturn peaches
15.  Chocolate Almond Chip ice cream
16.  Dear friends who get it (whatever "it" may be)
17.  Coorespondence/sending mail
18.  The satisfaction of paying bills
19.  Remembering my parents
20.  Quilting

30 Day Challenge

OK. A Thirty Day Challenge that does NOT involve me exercising, giving up chocolate, caffeine or potato chips.  This I might be able to do. I also like the idea of it giving me structure to take time to write daily. I got this from Obladi Oblada. She got it from Rain and Rain Got it from Sweet Pea..and who knows where Sweet Pea got it from...which is why I am constantly reminding my children to wash their hands....

Anyhow, below is the list of what to blog about. I will, of course, still blog my unusual and usual stuff too....

So please forgive me for taking the cheap and easy way out by playing catch up below since it is already September 4th and when I wake up it will be Day 5 already!

Day 1-Favorite Song  (Free Falling - Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers  1989- ahhh a song of hope and renewal: My own little National Anthem that reminds me of my life in my 20's, my son being born in 1989, and my divorce at 30 not being an ending, but the start of a whole new wonderful life free falling to where I am each and every time I hear it)

Day 2- Favorite Movie (A Patch of Blue - Sidney Poitier and Shelly Winters, Elizabeth Hartman, 1965: A blind, uneducated white girl is befriended by a black man, who becomes determined to help her escape her impoverished and abusive home life and the resulting problems that plague their relationship when they fall in love in a racially divided America) I shoulda known then I was destined for a career in human services...)

 

Day 3-Favorite TV show (hard to pick one: West Wing, Dexter, CSI Miami because it is just sooo hokey)

Day 4-Favorite Book (I am a book SLUT..so I must list several: Ahab's Wife by Sena Jeter Naslund, (yeah - never mind Moby Dick - read this instead); the Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold (I'm sad they are making it into a movie..); The Bright Forever by Lee Martin (the way each chapter draws you in further and then goes back to tweak the reality- or is that really how it happened?); Most books by Stephen King (love to get lost in his books where the simple everyday things are the most frightening); The No. 1 Ladies Detective series by Alexander McCall Smith (a great sense of place and wise views of humanity delivered simply and humorously- you feel like you are in Botswana when reading his books); ohhhh the list goes on....too many favorite books! And don't get me started on magazines!

Day 5-Favorite Quote "Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in your garage makes you a car" and "You'll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind"

Day 6-20 of your Favorite Things

Day 7-A photo that makes you happy

Day 8-A photo that makes you angry or sad

Day 9-A photo you took

Day 10-A Photo taken over ten years ago of you

Day 11-A photo of you recently

Day 12-Something you are OCD about

Day 13-A fictional book

Day 14-A non fictional book

Day 15-Your dream house

Day 16-A song that makes you cry (or nearly)

Day 17-An art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)

Day 18-Your wedding

Day 19-A talent of yours

Day 20-A hobby of yours

Day 21-A recipe

Day 22-A Website

Day 23-A youtube video

Day 24-Where you live

Day 25-Your day in great detail

Day 26-Your week in great detail

Day 27-Your worst habit

Day 28-Whats in your handbag/purse

Day 29-Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days

Day 30-A dream for the future



Ok - I'm going to be giving it my best shot here............Comments and encouragement welcome!

Stay Out Of The Fray

If you are a foster, bio or adoptive parent, you surely have experienced the strange dance of  crazy negative attention seeking behaviors that our children display...It is sooooo hard to "Stay Out Of The Fray" (as my grandmother used to say) and remain cool and detached. The Middle and Oldest Little are experts at creating chaos. They feed off of one another in a dizzying, unhealthy way; they are much like twin tornados

The casual details of thier life at home, what brought them into care, just leak out in their play and conversation in such a matter of fact - no big deal manner.  I must have said a dozen times yesterday "I'm sorry, the (dishwasher, TV, car, dog) was so loud, I didn't hear you. What did you say?" Because I couldn't have possible heard what they just said.  Did he really say that?  He did. Oh.My.Stars. I have anxiously spewed the summary of my days to two social workers and the Littles Attorney.  Their world view is skewed, tilted. Upside down. I am disturbed.

I am all for siblings remaining together - but sometimes I really wonder if it is the healthiest.

The Littles seem to be wired as heat seeking missiles - looking for a unsuspecting target to create the devastating explosions they are sadly used to. The familiar explosions that without, their day must seem just a little dull and boring.

I patiently redirect, I use my very best calm teacher voice.  I try to put a smile in my eyes. I remind them we use our words to show our feelings, not our hands and body. I remind them they are good boys, they can make choices. We made a little poster and hung it on the kitchen cabinet to remind them. They are trying to learn a new language. God love 'em, they do keep trying!

Just an aside.  The cologne/aftershave that James has just started wearing smells like cedar shavings.  Ya know. Hamster bedding? Yeah.  In addition to the smell of football equipment and adolescent boy funk, my house now smells like a Pet Shop. Lovely. I suppose in 90 degree heat, things could smell a whole lot worse.

The baby is napping.  Bobby has gone to a neighboring town to paint a four-square on the playground of  their Elementary School, James is grooving on watching one of the Little's Disney movies (it is never to late to have a childhood in our house!!!!) and the Littles are bickering as they play with MY action figurine collection on the front porch..yeah, I'm a good sharer...and today I made good choices about sharing my special toys today so I could get 20 minutes to blog......)

PS (Tornado pic is Twin funnels in Elkhart, Indiana on April 11, 1965.Photo from National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration/ Department of Commerce.  The other pics I just googled.  I have got to figure out how to properly acknowledge and use pics in my blog....)