The Locusts of Control

Yes.
I know.
I should have typed "The LOCUS of CONTROL".
But I didn't.
On purpose.
So there.

Can you tell I spend wayyyyyyyy tooo much time with school aged children????

So, today at work I was thinking about locus of control. How people feel that they do or do not have control over what happens in their lives. That attitude shapes how they approach life. For some, the question is: am I the master of my ship? Or are the waves, the sea, the tides, and the boat builder responsible? Is it an internal locus of control (self, personal energy and action) or is it external (others? fate? chance? luck? God?).

Many of the children I work with at the Elementary School in the Alternative Learning Center (translated: Behavior Program) feel that their lives are run by others (external) and that they have little or no say in what happens. For some, this lack of control extends to their emotions and inability to manage their feelings and control their reactions (internal). Sometimes it seems as though they feel minimal control in their personal lives so they make up for it and are over-controlling of EVERYTHING at school. Even the most mundane task or instruction turns into a battle. YIKES.

Keep in mind these are the same kind of children that I live with!!!! No wonder I am exhausted some days.

Today child X had a spectacular meltdown because X clearly believed, with every fiber in their body, that their idea for the science lesson was best:

Science Meltdown Instructions

1. Do the worksheet packet first ( not last)
2. Completely skip the informational poster
3. Do not read the text book
4. Completely ignore any and all instructions
5. Begin crying, whining and screaming when prompted otherwise.
6. Fling self on floor screaming , flail arms.
7. Repeat steps 4 through 7.

Now, please understand, the poster, book and instructions were essential to correctly completing the packet. Notice I said, correctly. You certainly can do the packet without the textbook, poster or instructions. Which X did. It just won't be done correctly. And if it is not done correctly......Can you see where this is going????? If not, please refer to instructions above.

Any how...the more I thought about it the more I realized that X needed a quick lesson in the management strucure of school and of self.

The principal is in charge of the school
Mrs Z is in charge of the class
and YOU are in charge of your feelings.

Mr Y is the boss of the school
Mrs Z is the boss of the class
and YOU are the boss of your reactions.


X: "I am?"
me: "Yup!
X : "Really?
me: "Yup. Now go be in charge of your feelings"
X: "Okay."

And he did!!!