Re-Evaluation and Update

Oh, did I tell you The Other Mother and I are updating our Homestudy and are submitting it to the Regional Adoption Unit? Ummmmmm. Yeah.

Our Family Social Worker with The Division of Family Services just did our annual Foster Parent Licensing re-evaluation. We are approved again for 4 more kids, age 0-18, in addition to Bobby. Currently we are considered unrestricted foster and foster to adopt within our local unit and we asked to expand our options to include The Regional Adoption Unit.

The Other Mother is 51 and I am 49 and I could swear that sound I hear is our parental clock ticking.
There are only so many more YEARS The Other Mother can challenge our kids to pull up contests, push up contests and road races and still beat em' every time. If one more person asked me if I was Baby Dee's GRANDMOTHER I was gonna have a stroke. So, WHILE WE ARE YOUNG, PEOPLE I figure we best get to growin' our family...SOON.

Recently, we were panel speakers at a regional adoption event, and while we did not set out to look for another child or sibling group, we found ourselves making inquiries on several children and making some connections with Social Workers. We said we were interested in sibling groups, and older adolescent or teen boys, but we are flexible...Bobby wants to be a big brother - but we'd like to see kids in between Bobby (11) and Alex (20). We were informal, took business cards and made polite inquiries/connections.

That was then. Yesterday we were on the phone with our Social Worker who'd be contacting Regional next week and she wanted us to summarize, again, what we were looking to do about expanding our family. Would we take a high legal risk newborn, for example.

After much discussion The Other Mother and I decided we can't decide. Yeah. Who are we to close the door on whom God? The Universe? thinks we should parent.

Remember we only fostered teens and were never going to adopt. Then along came 8 year old Bobby visiting his teen sister we had in foster care. We fell in love with every last stinkin' freckle and adopted him and have never looked back.

We weren't ever going to foster babies - and our Social Worker called us for Baby Dee, a medically fragile failure to thrive infant who stole our hearts in the time it took to hold her.

We were trained by our bio-son, Alex, in the challenges and blessings of parenting children to the other side of their not-so-easy teen years. We are proud of the young man he has become and the adult man he is becoming. We made it through the other side in one piece and we really like being with each other. As a result, we are NOT afraid to foster parent or adopt teens.



So because we had to give an answer on the phone, we are open to 0-18 through our area Foster Care Unit and open for 4-18, in our Regional Adoption Unit, but would take a newborn as part of a sibling group. Most likely boys (a girl could be part of a sibling group but NOT near Bobby or James' age). Both scenarios require an age cushion around James (13).

James will probably be with us through high school and beyond. We adore him. He is kind, caring, easy going. Right now he is dealing with the typical struggles facing all teens today: social temptations, peer influences, decison making. He is the first to say he is a follower. He does so much better if there is an age difference. He's a great son, great big-brother to Bobby (11), and a great little brother to Alex (20) but does not do as well with kids close to his age. In an ideal world, he'd be an only child with two stay at home parents to get the much needed attention and guidance he deserves. So we added the caveat to our adoption profile that IF James is with us, we'd like a 5 year cushion: So kids could be 2 years younger or 2 years older than his current age. So, TODAY, because he is 13, that means we'd be open to foster/adopt 0-11 and 15-18.

It feels a little Crazy doing our Family Planning this way.... But, hey. It's real.....and that is what this blog is about. Keepin it all real.

So we will wait for the phone to ring and make the decision in the context of our family at the time of the call. And we will continue to listen with our hearts for God's call, too.

Don't worry. I know what you are thinking.

After the homestudy is submitted, I am going to get us both an appointment with a Neurologist to have our heads examined. I decided we don't need an appointment with a Cardiologist - since I am pretty sure that our hearts are in the right place.