Just Too Strange

On Thursday AK moved to a foster home much closer to his area of meaningful tie. I feel sad that he is gone - but I also feel like this is a good move for him. Our house was an hour and ten minutes away from the town where EVERYONE is: Mom, Grandma, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and his 3 little sisters (all in different foster homes but still in the same town). Although Step-Dad is not in the same town, at least he is incarcerated nearby.

The new foster home is about 20 minutes away from the town where EVERYONE is. They have older bio-teens and two other foster teen boys: 14 and 16. This will be a nice fit for AK who is definitely a teen ager with teen aged issues:

If I had to overhear one more of his phone conversations that discussed another one of his friend's PREGNANCIES I thought I'd lose my ever lovin' mind. Yes, plural. AS in - more than one. Yes, there are 12 and 13 year old girls in his group of friends from his hometown that are pregnant. He is an 8th grader for crying out loud.

He said this at the dinner table last week: "WE haven't decided on the middle name for C*****'s baby. WE are thinking maybe Mercedes." Like this is a community BABY and a community naming decision among the group of kids that hangs out on the street in his home town. Holy Crap.

Then there is the whole Bio-Mom faking the Cancer thing and just how much AK was in on the scam. AK is amazingly loyal to his family- and not always in a healthy way. She told everyone - including AK- that she had breast Cancer that had spread to her uterus and lungs. Phone calls to her doctors confirmed she did not have cancer - just an abcess and took some antibiotics. She claimed she needed lung biopsies and had radiation and would be losing her hair. So now that Mom has been confronted about never having any "cancer" who knows what she'll say or do to try and get her kids back.

These kids leave a wake of destruction, accusations and upheaval wherever they are placed. In the past, serious, life changing accusations have been made that coincided with Bio-Mom's plans being thwarted. The message is loud and clear: stay out of her way or else who knows what accusations will head your way.

The whole thing is just too strange and the Division of Family Services has their work cut out for them to try and sort Bio-Mom's little tangled web of lies. Two weeks ago we met with our family social worker and also the social worker supervisors to process this situation and come up with a plan that made sense for everyone.

As much as I miss AK, I am glad to have some distance from his crazy family. I need to maintain the healthy boundaries I have for my family. We care about AK, but can no longer provide foster care for him. NOT at the risk of my family's safety.

We parted with hugs and tears and optimism. AK and his new foster family know he is welcome back for respite, vacations and visits if his new social workers approve. In the meantime - we'll see him in a week or two as we need to return some winter things he left in Vermont.