Today We Begin Again

I remember early in our Fostering "career" attending our first meeting of the Mountain Town Foster Parent Support Group and folks introducing themselves...I recall noticing that we were the only ones that had not yet adopted and how after the meeting The Other Mother and I shared our observations and were very clear we were not going to adopt. Yeah. Adoption. That's not for us.

Here we are, having adopted and open to doing it again.

I remember being in Orlando recently and feeling somewhat out of place because our house was fairly settled. No major issues, no crazy attachment stuff happening right now, no turmoil...and being very grateful for the mundane life we call ours.

Mundane?

That didin't last long.

Here we are. Less than a month later. Ready to buckle into the roller coaster AGAIN.

Today our new guy, Manny (he of "many" get it?  many issues...) returns to us.

No. That's not quite right.

Let's try that again: Today, Manny comes HOME to us.

Home, after a two week respite in a RTC to stabilize his behaviors. Manny comes home today and we begin again.

He has had several diagnostic tests and appointments with specialists to help pinpoint what is going on medically. Yes. Medically. Because in additon to the loss and trauma and all the horrible things that brings a child to foster care and the BIG BEHAVIORS that are a result- now there is a medical challenge to face. The Other Mother went yesterday to meet with the surgeon and this morning they are meeting with the specialist.

We are closer to knowing what course our lives will take.

I should be scared and doubtful. I should be a wreck and nervous. I should be praying or crying. I should be many things today - but for now I am Manny's new Mom. Waiting for him to come home.