Taking A Bubble Bath In Testosterone

The neighbor has been over twice to just check in - make sure we are OK with one another. Make peace. All is well...Bobby has been there most of the afternoon playing with the kids and James has been hanging with me. We did errands together before Bobby got home from school. We went for a milkshake. We talked. We are holding James near and dear to help him make better choices.

After dinner, when Bobby went next door to watch a movie, we had a chat with James. Explained to him his behavior is telling us he needs us to be closer to him - to have our eyes on him - to help him make better choices. That when left alone or out of sight he has a hard time making good decisions. That we care about him and want to give him the tools to make good choices and be more independent. That right now it is our job to help guide him and raise him up to be a good man. To do any less for him would be unacceptable- he deserves so much better. We acknowledged he must miss his Mom and his family, but that we want him to stay and we were not going to give up on him. He cried.

Oh - did I tell you we are among 25 families being recognized by the state at a formal Foster Parent brunch in the central part of our humble New England State on Sunday. I guess we were nominated by several social workers... Cool - huh? Except it begs the question - what to do with James....

Spoke to James' Social Worker today about our concerns that he is struggling and conflicted and I presented 3 plans for Sunday:
1. We split: one Mom goes to the event, the other mom stays with the kids. (Not a good option, we should both go)
2 We send James to an experienced foster home for the day and Bobby and the baby get the sitter. (Gives James he impression he has more power than he does and diminishes the authority of the sitter)
3.The game plan we are going with is: He stays with the babysitter in the living room, kitchen or his bedroom until we are back home from the event. Bobby has permission to play indoors, outdoors or nextdoor...But James must stay in eye sight of the sitter. (We get to go together to the event, it empowers the sitter, gives James an opportunity for a good choice...)

So in the meantime - we are attached at the hip...He and the Other Mother went to Walm*rt and got some mulch and dog food, laundry soap, cat litter...all the big things that are difficult to get when lugging a baby in a carseat....Gave them some serious bonding time and they picked up some movies from the $5 bin....

Which is why we are bonding by watching The Longest Yard together...If you haven't seen it, its a football/prison/guy bonding flick...ummmm, kinda like taking a bubble bath in testosterone.