Unhinged

Busy night here. Right before dinner there was a fist fight between the two new boys here on respite. Their foster Mom said sometimes they can get physical - then they get over it. Great. I told them I didn't care what it was about or who started it - the rule here is we don't lay hands on you and you don't lay hands on anyone else. This is a safe house and you can't feel safe if people are going around hitting one another.

Bucksquat had yet another meltdown tonight. This was way before Adam and Michael went at it. Bucksquat was slamming doors. Swearing. Saying how horrible we were. Etc Etc. You know the drill. The Other Mother took her trusty hammer and screwdriver and took his bedroom door off the hinges. There it sits on it's side resting against the dining room table. In our house if you scream and slam doors, you lose the privelege of having a door. Very concrete consequence and makes the point.(I just love her!) He freaked out began barricading his door with furnitue and push pinning a sheet over the door. He's resourceful if nothing else. He didn't like it when we wouldn't let him unscrew his coat hooks off his bedroom door. Oh well. He went and sat outside on the covered front porch in the rain until dinner. He ate with us and after dinner thought he'd stroll on downstairs for some video games. UMMMM No. Go sit at the table. We need to talk.

There is so much going on with him that I don't know where to begin - I read another blog describing how on a visit with other RAD families their son was tring to triangulate...They could have been writing about my kid. ARGH. I get that it is part of his RAD and PTSD but I am so NOT OK with his escalating meltdowns and upping the ante..He has gotten physical..he won't be 10 and 95 pounds forever.

For now we are keeping him close and have taken most of his stuff out of his room and placed it in storage tubs in the basement. He has his books, all the things on his wall and family photos. We just packed up what was on the desk and bureau and the toys on the floor. He clearly is having trouble managing his life- and we said we'd help him.

We told him he was out of control and we'd help him get back in control. He would stay close to us. Tonight he could sit at the table or go to bed. He sat at the kitchen table tonight after supper while the Other Mother sat at the table and finished the Dan Brown book she had been reading. I filed bills at the big desk on the other side of the kitchen. My Goodness he just didn't stop. Time "IN" with him is such a chore. He is so hard to tune out. Every 30 seconds he'd try to engage "You hate me" "You are making my life horrible" "Why did you ever adopt me" "I hate you". So from 6:30 - 7:30 he just went on and on and on. And on. I gave him reminders that he needed to SIT the table (he was laying upside down in the chair with his head under the table and feet in the air.. and he had to be QUIET....I set the timer at 7:30 for an hour and had to start it over a few times. each time he'd start in "When will I get my door back" "You suck", the timer would go back to 60 minutes. He needed to do 60 minutes QUIET to balance out his 60 minutes LOUD...

Finally he did it....and was finished at 8:47. Just in time for the BRUSH nad FLUSH to get ready for bed. I told him his behavior was unacceptable and if he continued and chose to act like that again he could expect his nights looking very similar to how he spent tonight. Finally once he was in bed he broke down crying "I miss my room" ARGGHHHH. I am sooooo tired.